"Could have been worse. Could have gotten attacked by a shark," she joked.
"It looks like it really hurt," I said. She sat up.
"It happened a long time ago. Do you have any plans today?" she asked.
"I was hoping for a repeat performance of last night," I said, smirking.
"That sounds great, but I have to go to work," she said, getting up. She went to the bathroom then came back out, walking to her closet. I didn’t take my eyes off her. Watching her get into her clothes was just as good as watching her get out of them. She glanced over and noticed me looking, blushing bright pink before turning her head away.
"Can't believe I lasted a whole month," I said to myself, looking at her.
"You found other ways to keep yourself busy, though, didn't you?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're a hot guy in his twenties. You have the pick of the litter." I frowned. Did she think I had been seeing someone else?
"Abby, I haven't seen anyone but you since I got here."
"It doesn't matter if you have. I just want you to tell me. Full disclosure. No judgment. You're on vacation."
"Have you been seeing anybody else?" I asked. She turned to look at me.
"No. You're the first man I've been with in over a year. I don't expect you to treat me any differently because of that. I just want you to be honest with me."
"I am being honest, Abby. I haven't slept with anyone else since I got to the island."
"Why?" she asked.
"Huh?"
"Why not? Why haven't you slept with anyone else since you came to the island?"
"Because half the time I was too strung out to care, and the rest of the time I couldn't get it up for anyone but you," I said. She leaned her back against her open closet, looking at me on the bed.
"Why did you come back to me, Nate?" she asked. Her eyes looked scared and unsure. What did she think I did when we weren't together?
"I really like you, Abby. I care about you."
"But we barely even know each other. There are so many things you don't know about me and I about you." I stood and walked over to her.
"I know you helped me through one of the hardest nights of my life and dealt with me when I was a mean, angry asshole strung out on dope. I know you're kind and good. You love people, and you do things for them because you actually give a fuck.
“I know I don't know when your birthday is or your parents' names, but I want to know. I'd like to get to know you better, Abby. A lot better." She smiled a small smile that was a little sad. She leaned up, cupping my face, kissing me lightly on the lips.
She closed her closet and walked over to the back door, shooting me one more smile before leaving for work. Was that a yes? It definitely wasn't a no. Maybe it had been a little long and she was just scared or something.
Whatever it was, she had nothing to worry about. I had already made the mistake of pushing her away once, and I was not a big enough idiot to do it again. I grabbed a glass of juice from her fridge and got dressed, wondering what to do that day. It wasn't like when I could just steal her away from her job and spend the day exploring the island with her.
We had to do that again. I'd probably have a hell of a better time now that I was
sober doing it. Her, too, since she wouldn't have to worry about whether I was feeling sick.
I wasn't dumb enough to think that I was on top of the world now that I was clean. The actual using was gone, but the desire to do it wasn’t. It was still there, but I was stronger than it, finally. Something had finally become a bigger priority for me than using, and that meant I wasn't a slave to my addiction anymore.
Maybe my optimism would taper off eventually, but I was still feeling really good about things. Even better now that Abby and I had made up. I got dressed and left her house, heading up to the resort and back to my suite. I took a shower and had breakfast before calling a private car company Keno told me about.
I barely even had to think about where to go now. I found myself drawn to the Garden of the Gods more and more. It was just a place I felt like my problems couldn't touch me. The first time I went there with Abby was the first time I remember feeling truly unburdened, and I felt it every time I went after.