“I know,” I said without emotion. I didn’t know what else to say to him.
He was making me feel even worse than I already did. It was a very tough fight, one I almost lost, and now I was being lectured for it. I knew he was only doing it because he cared, but it was still hard to listen to.
He left the room, and I changed into my street clothes. I just wanted to be home with Margie. I packed up my things and headed out to my car. I was only thirty minutes away from home, but it felt like hours before I even reached my street.
When I got there, Margie was still awake.
“What are you still doing up?” I asked her. I wasn’t mad, just surprised.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said.
“I’m sorry, Justin. I tried to get her to bed, but she said she couldn’t sleep until she knew you got home okay,” Tiffany said.
“It’s alright,” I said to Tiffany and pulled out my wallet to pay her. My mom had been invited out for a girls’ night with a few of her book club friends and had not been available to watch Margie. “Thank you for watching her.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you, but you keep the money,” she said.
“No, I don’t think that would be right,” I argued.
“I’m serious; you keep the money. I had fun, and I don’t mind watching her just to watch her,” Tiffany said.
I thanked her and then looked at Margie. “I think it’s time for bed. Can you tell Tiffany goodbye?”
“Bye, Tiffany. Thank you for playing Uno with me,” Margie said.
Tiffany crouched down and gave Margie a hug. “No problem. I had fun. Your daddy is home now so make sure you go to bed for him, okay?”
Margie nodded her head.
“Goodnight, Justin,” she said. She had that same look in her eye. I didn’t know what was really going through her head, but I hoped she didn’t think I wanted anything more from her. I was already very interested in someone else.
“Goodnight, Tiffany,” I said, and when she left, I locked the door behind her.
I
picked up Margie. “Let’s go get in bed.”
I carried her to her room, laid her on her bed, and tucked her in.
“Did you win?” she asked, her voice full of hope.
“Yeah, I did,” I said.
“How come you don’t seem very happy then?”
I didn’t want to explain it to her. The whole situation was far too complicated for someone so young to understand. Instead, I pulled the covers further up, smoothing them out under her chin.
“I am happy,” I promised. “I’m just tired. Why are you still awake?”
“I was nervous,” she shrugged.
“Why were you nervous?” she had never been this nervous before.
“Because you were nervous all day,” she said matter-of-factly.
I felt my stomach sink uncomfortably. Her words made me feel horrible. I never thought about the way I had been acting and how it might have affected her. She spent the whole night nervous and unable to sleep because of me.
“I’m okay, sweetheart. I promise you everything is going to be okay,” I said but quickly corrected myself. “I mean, everything is okay. Right now, everything is okay. And it always will be. You don’t need to worry about me. I promise.”