“I want to be clear about what this is and isn’t.” She stared right at me, her hazel eyes unusually intense. “I don’t want you to think this is the start of a relationship. When I thought about it, I realized I am attracted to you, but I’m not ready for anything more. Maybe I won’t ever be. That’s not fair to you, but I wanted to be clear.”
I gave her a small nod. My hands tightened into fists in my lap. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I regret nothing,” I said, wanting to make my own position clear. “And I meant everything I said.”
Emily managed a wistful smile. “I guess I’m thinking of this as a what happens in Tokyo, stays in Tokyo kind of thing. We can have some fun, spend time together, but nothing more serious, and it doesn’t go with us to America.”
I watched her for a few seconds as I thought about what she said. I could work with this. If she didn’t want to commit to anything more at that moment, I didn’t feel the need to make her feel trapped.
“I’m fine with that,” I said. “Depending on what happens with my business deal, I might have days to spend with you or maybe just the nights.” I shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get for the trip.”
“I’m not saying we won’t…” She glanced over and then whispered the rest. “Not saying we won’t sleep together again, but I think it’d be best if we don’t do anything for a day or so.” She blushed. “I’m still sore anyway.”
The bit of levity pushed away my irritation. “Well, I hope I can help you leave Tokyo with at least one more good memory.”
Her eyes widened, and she took a deep breath, her lips parted slightly. “I’m sure you can.” The words came out breathy.
Our new relationship had to live and die over a few days in Tokyo. Not what I’d planned when I’d invited Emily on the trip to begin with, but it was more than I’d expected.
Sometimes, you had to take the offer in front of you to close the deal.
Chapter Nineteen
EMILY
Having a personal driver to escort me around Tokyo was a bit strange. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to talk much to him or not. He wasn’t mean or anything, but he didn’t seem to be all that interested in chitchat either.
I wondered if he needed to concentrate on the roads, but though cars and buses crowded the roads, the nice flow of traffic surprised me. This was the first time I’d been paying much attention to the driving experience in Tokyo, if only because Logan wasn’t in the car to distract me.
“The LEGO place I asked about is on Odaiba, right?” I said.
The driver nodded. “Hai.” He furrowed his brow and started again, maybe worried I didn’t understand. “Yes, it’s on Odaiba.”
“On, right? As on an island?”
My cheeks heated. I’d spent more time worrying about this trip than planning for it, and so I’d been forced to do a lot of last-minute checking around and furiously quick reading on Tokyo’s sights.
“Yes, an island.” He chuckled. “We’ll use Rainbow Bridge.”
“Rainbow Bridge?”
His gaze flicked to the rear-view mirror for a second before returning in front of him. “Looks normal during the day, but at night, red, green, and white lights. Tourists love it.”
“Oh,” I said. “Maybe it’ll be dark on our way back.”
He nodded once, and I let the conversation end. Being in such a large, foreign city only reminded me of how insular my life had been. I loved my family and my city, but I’d gotten too comfortable with my life at times, not ever asking if I should want something different or more.
I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what was going on with Logan. Being alone could be sad at times, but it was familiar, almost comfortable in a way. Opening my heart to a man, even a man like Logan, terrified me. Better the devil you know and all that.
I thought I’d loved Lionel, and I’d thought he loved me. He’d given me my beautiful daughter, but during the divorce, I found out he’d been cheating on me from the very beginning. I’d never been enough for him.
If I wasn’t enough for a man like Lionel, how could I be enough for a handsome billionaire? Logan might like me now, but he’d get tired of me like Lionel did, but by then, it would already be too late. The best thing for everyone was to have some fun in Tokyo and forget about anything else.
I nodded to myself at the thought, calm spreading through me.
A huge digital Coke billboard caught my attention. A smiling model held up the bottle and then drank the Coke. I couldn’t read the Japanese, but I assumed it wasn’t all that much more interesting than the things ads said in America, and I doubted my driver wanted to take his eyes off the road to translate a sign.
I wondered how Logan felt about everything that had happened the day before. Even though he’d agreed to my idea about keeping everything in Tokyo, I doubted he’d flown me halfway around the world for a quick night of sex.