“Just like that,” he said solemnly. “She was quite the force of nature, wasn’t she?”
“She was,” I agreed.
“It’s like I said, a strong man needs a good, strong woman for support,” he repeated.
I hummed an agreement. Finally, I shook my head. “I should let you get back to the newspaper, I guess. It’s about time I went to bed anyway; I was up early this morning.”
“All right,” Dad said. “Sleep well.”
“You, too,” I told him warmly.
Up in my room, though, I couldn’t fall asleep. I kept thinking over what Dad had said, about a man needing the support of a woman. Of course, I wasn’t full of myself enough to think that I could be precisely what Trethan needed in his life, but was it possible that some sort of stable woman was just what he needed?
Was it possible that he really could shape up and quit being a brawling drunkard, just like Dad had done?
Feeling totally conflicted, I called Julie. “Hey, I’m sorry,” I told her. “I know it’s late. I hope I haven’t woken anyone up?”
“No, we just put Danny down to sleep not too long ago,” she said. “I’m getting caught up on a little reading, and Liam is watching the end of some sports game. What’s up?”
“I was just thinking about Trethan,” I told her.
“Again.”
I paused. “I just feel so uncertain about it. What if he really could change? What if he just needs some sort of stability in his life or a good friend? If I turned my back on that, I’d feel like the biggest asshole in the world.”
“You shouldn’t feel pressured to take care of him just because you guys used to be close,” Julie said, sounding disapproving. “Has he put you up to this?”
“No,” I said. “I just was thinking about it, that’s all.”
She sighed. “To be honest, I don’t really want to tell you that I think you should take your chances with him,” she said. “I remember how hurt you were last time when things didn’t work out. But I know that you’ve been thinking about him a
lot lately, and I know that you’re not stupid. You’re not ignoring his faults.”
I laughed softly, remembering what Dad had said. “But every man has his faults,” I reminded her. “Even Liam must have his faults, right?”
As though on cue, I could suddenly hear Liam cheering loudly in the background. And just as loudly, I heard Danny begin to cry. Julie swore. “There’s one of his major faults,” she griped. “He’s too into his sports. Look, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to put you on speaker so I can try and get Danny calmed down and back to sleep. Is that okay?”
“No problem,” I told her.
“Liam has his faults,” she continued after a moment where all I could hear on the other end of the line was rustling. “And I do as well. And this baby will have his faults as well.” She paused. “But those faults aren’t always life-threatening.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that he’d overdosed?” I asked because I was under no illusions that she hadn’t known.
“Because you were finally starting to sound okay about your breakup,” Julie told me. “It was right around the time you started getting interested in that TA of yours, whatever his name was. Josh? I wasn’t about to tell you ‘oh yeah, by the way, Trethan was in the hospital.’”
“But if he’d died, I would never have been able to forgive myself for not being there,” I told her, feeling the hurt bubble up to the surface.
Julie sighed. “I know,” she said. “I knew that, even then. But your father didn’t want you to know about it, either. He didn’t want you to be hurt, and he didn’t want anything to tear you away from your dream of becoming an art historian. He thought he could figure out some other way to honor the friendship you’d had with Trethan, without your ever having to know about the OD.”
“And that’s why he offered Trethan the job,” I said slowly, feeling things finally starting to click into place.
“I don’t think that’s the only reason,” she said. “You know how things are in a small town. Everyone knows someone who’s been in that position before, whether it’s them or a cousin or a friend or someone else.”
“True,” I agreed, remembering again what Dad had said about how he would have been a drunkard without Mom’s intervention. No doubt, he’d seen something of himself in Trethan. “But should I give Trethan another chance?” I asked Julie plaintively.
She was quiet for a bit. Finally, she sighed. “You know I can’t answer that question for you,” she said. “But I will say this. You’re not eighteen anymore, Vanessa. I know it’s scary, but sometimes, being an adult just means taking a chance. And whether that’s with your art gallery or with a man, it’s really the same thing. You just have to decide which chances are worth taking.”
I thought this over and nodded to myself, even though I didn’t feel any more decisive now than I had when we’d first started this conversation. “Thanks,” I told her.