But there was too much feeling behind the kiss for that theory to ring true.
I pulled away from him before things could go too far, and Trethan winced. “Sorry,” he said. “I know you probably regret doing that.”
“I don’t, actually,” I said simply. “But I’m not ready to go back to anything approaching a romantic relationship at the moment.”
“Because you still don’t trust that I’ve changed,” he said, looking away, his expression pained. His mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “Because you really are better than me. Even if you didn’t find your rich college guy, you still know that you could do better than someone like me.”
“Hush,” I said, the word soft but heavy in the night’s air. “It’s nothing to do with you, not really.” I paused, taking a breath in and exhaling it slowly, still feeling as though my lips were tingling, but I knew I couldn’t let myself give in to pleasure, not yet. “I’ve always thought you were a great guy,” I told Trethan, hoping he could hear the truth in my words. “I’ve always thought that you were better than you gave yourself credit for. And I know that my father believes in you, too. He sees your true potential.”
“But,” Trethan said flatly.
“But,” I agreed. I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. “I’m not sure what I want right now. And, that’s not fair to you. Or rather, as much as I want to say that I’m staying here in White Bluff, I don’t really know where the future is going to take me. It could be that I don’t find the funding for the gallery, that I can’t make that happen. And if I have to leave White Bluff, we’re going to have to get over one another all over again. That was hard last time; I can only expect that it would be even more difficult if we had to do it again.”
“You’ll find some way to fund it, though,” Trethan said confidently. “I know you, Vanessa. When you put your mind to something, there’s nothing that can stop you.”
“Then I need to put my mind to it,” I said, stepping away from him so that there was more distance between us so that I wouldn’t close that gap and nestle into his strong arms and resume kissing him. “I need to focus on that, Trethan. I don’t need any distractions right now, and a relationship would be a distraction.”
He was silent for a long moment. “I want to take you on a date,” he said finally. He held up a hand. “Not tomorrow. Not even this week. And, I promise, it’ll be nothing too stressful.” He frowned. “What if we went on a picnic, on the Fourth of July? Remember, we used to always do that?”
I fell silent, considering it. Then, I sighed. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” I said, as much as I wanted to agree to the idea.
“Come on,” Trethan pleaded. “It’ll be casual, more like a meeting of friends than an actual date. And I’ll do all the planning for it, so all you’d have to do is show up. That’ll give you plenty of time to focus on your gallery. I won’t bother you again until the Fourth.”
“You don’t bother me,” I said automatically.
“I won’t distract you,” he corrected. “I’ll stay totally out of your way.”
I bit my lower lip, but it was the hopeful look on his face that I couldn’t ignore. “Okay,” I finally agreed. Then, I grinned, remembering that one date that we’d been on, more than half a decade ago now. “But if you show up with fast food this time, I at least expect you to bring me something I like.”
Trethan laughed, as well. “Don’t worry; it won’t be fast food this time.” He paused. “I’m actually a pretty decent cook these days, I’ll have you know.”
“Oh, that’s a bold statement,” I said teasingly. “You’re going to have to impress me now.”
He leaned in close to me, and I thought he was going to kiss me again. But he paused, with his breath ghosting over my lips, his dark and serious eyes staring down into mine. “I’ve learned quite a few ways to impress a woman, or at least ways to leave her wanting more,” he said seductively. Before I could respond, he pulled away and tipped his hat to me. “Well, I’m off home for the night. I trust you can get yourself to bed on your own.”
I watched him as he walked away. “See you soon!” I called after him. Then, I turned back toward the creek and slumped against the railing. I had no idea what I’d gotten myself into. And when I started walking again, my panties were decidedly damp.
Chapter Fifteen
Trethan
The next week and half dragged on and on. I still got everything done around the ranch, but I could tell from the sidelong, considering looks John gave me, I wasn’t able to hide how distracted and impatient I was.
He finally asked me about it the evening before the Fourth, right when my nervousness and frustration coalesced into a massive case of jitters that I tried my best to ignore.
I poked my head into his office and gave a quick wave. “Just wanted to let you know I’m headed off for the day. All the horses should be set for the night. Didn’t quite finish making up the stalls for the weekend boarders, but I’ll get that done in the morning, well before they arrive.”
“Good, good. Thanks for everything, Trethan.”
“No problem, sir,” I said, tapping my hat and preparing to retreat. Before I could though, John stopped me.
“Trethan, just a second. I can’t help but notice you’ve been a bit distracted lately.”
I came into the office and shifted uncomfortably. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“I’m not chastising you,” he said, shaking his head. “I just wanted to check in and make sure everything’s okay. I know I’ve had you running around here like crazy these days, now that we’re in the full swing of summer, but if it’s too much, I’m sure I could get Vanessa down here to help out.”
I shook my head. “She’s focused on finding funding for her gallery, isn’t she?” I asked, angling for any news of how she was doing with that. I’d been true to my word, and I’d been avoiding her lately.