I shrugged. “Of course,” I said. I paused, biting my lower lip. “It's been good.”
Mina sighed. “I know that look,” she said, shaking her head.
“What look?” I asked defensively.
“That look,” Mina said, waving a hand at my face. “You look guilty. And you know what I think that means? I think that means that you're starting to forget the fact that he's going back to New York in, like, a week. Maybe two at the most.”
“He would have told me if he was,” I protested.
“You'd like to think so,” Mina agreed.
“Have you read something in one of your magazines?” I asked softly, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
“No,” Mina said. “Although the fact that you even feel the need to ask…”
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“Then maybe he's not leaving,” I said stubbornly.
Mina sighed and came forward, catching my hands between hers. “You know that he has to leave at some point,” she reminded me. “There's no way around that. And I don't want to see you get hurt, but I'm afraid that that is exactly what's going to happen.” She sighed. “Do you remember what happened the last time you fell in love with a guy?”
I grimaced. “Mina-”
“No, don't you Mina me,” she said, shaking her head. “I'm always on your side, and if he leaves and goes back to New York, I'm going to be there for you with ice cream and Chinese takeout food and stupid movies. But at the same time, you can't just hide away in your little bubble and insist that it's never going to exist. That's-”
“Mina,” I interrupted firmly, finally succeeding in halting her litany. I sighed. “Mina, I know he's going back to New York,” I said. “But we had a great time over the holiday, and I'm trying to take a leaf out of your book. You told me to just have fun with this, with whatever it was. I'm trying very hard to do that. I'm trying very hard to enjoy this.”
Mina shook her head, looking pained. “Just-”
“Mina, he likes me,” I interrupted. “He does. And I'm not saying that he's going to take me back to New York with him, he couldn't do that, I know that. But all the same, I want to enjoy this. So, please.”
“Okay,” Mina said, miming zipping her lips.
“So, how was your Christmas anyway?”
Mina grimaced and flopped into one of the waiting room chairs. “Trust me,” she said dramatically, “you don't even want to know.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Christian
I don't know why I did it, but it was Mark that I called up for advice. Maybe it was just because he was a dude. Maybe it was because I thought I could get his unbiased opinion on the subject in a way that I knew I would never be able to from Gretchen. Whatever it was, I dialed his number and waited impatiently for him to pick up.
“Yo, what's up?” he asked. “How was your Christmas?”
“It was good,” I said distractedly, thinking of something else. “Look, could you meet me over here at the hotel?”
“Uh oh,” Christian said. “Are you looking at different shirts again?”
I laughed a little, but the sound was weak. “I honestly wish I were,” I told him.
“I'll be there in ten,” Mark told me.
True to his word, he strode into the suite not too long after that. He raised an eyebrow at the way that I was pacing and dropped almost challengingly into a chair. “Dude, what's up?” he asked. “You look stressed.”
“I am,” I admitted. “I shouldn't be, I should have known this day was coming, but I am.”
“You're headed back to New York,” Mark said, realization dawning on his face.