The absolutely last thing I wanted to see was the speculative expression on my friend's face. Actually, second to last. Rainer was the one person I wanted to avoid at all costs. I tried to wave politely and keep walking. My plan was to hit the regular bank of elevators and lose Rainer in the crowds returning from lunch.
It backfired when I walked towards the executive elevator and the doors slid open. I had to step inside or Rainer would know I was avoiding him on purpose. I turned around just as he slipped in the doors. I saw Otto wave as the doors closed. It was just Rainer and me in the elevator.
At least it's an express to the top floors, I told myself.
"So, what are we going to do?" Rainer asked.
"Excuse me?" I gasped.
Rainer's expression broke into a surprised grin. "Sorry, wasn't trying to be suggestive. But if you have a different idea for this elevator ride then, please, elaborate."
I wished I could slip through the floor and back down to the front doors. "What are we going to do about what? Oh, you mean the community garden?" I asked.
"Well, now that you mention it—"
I cut Rainer off. "I'm heading up to meet with Stan right now. First I want to hear his reasons for cutting off the funding, and then I'll decide which path I have to take."
Rainer's eyes slid to the stop button and then back to me. "Wait, two paths? What are you talking about?"
/> His mind was clearly on other things, things that made my heart stumble around. I cleared my throat. "Stan knows by now that I love the GroGreen project, so I only have two choices: fight or beg."
Rainer leaned against the elevator wall and smiled at me. "So, you don't want to move on yet either?"
"I thought you were ready to move on from the first moment you walked into our team meeting," I said. The words hit home, and I felt bad for making Rainer wince. "I'm just surprised that you liked all the extra work."
"Watching preschoolers plant carrots was not what I'd call work. I enjoyed it," Rainer said.
I blamed the express elevator for the sudden lightness in my head. "I love it. Plus, it's great for the company, and I just have to make Stan see that."
Rainer stopped my babbling by standing up. He was suddenly too close. "So, you're going to fight. Does that mean I should beg?"
"What?" I blinked up at him and forgot what I had said.
"Well, it seems to me that your advice for getting what you want is to fight for it or beg. So, Tasha, tell me which one I should do." Rainer's gaze locked onto me.
He was serious. Very serious. But I worried he wasn't talking about the GroGreen project anymore.
It was all too much. The elevator was too tight and warm. Rainer was too close and causing too many thoughts to swirl around my head. I felt like a geyser about to erupt.
I didn't know what else to do, so I got angry. "This is all a game to you, isn't it?" I asked him.
Rainer took a step back and hit the stop button on the elevator. It lurched to a halt as he asked, "Are we talking about work or the rest of it?"
"The rest of it?" I practically screeched. "There isn't anything else. You just want what you can't have. And you must think I'm some kind of moron that I don't know as soon as I give in, you'll get bored and move on. I'm not doing it."
"You really think I'm heartless, don't you?" Rainer said. He restarted the elevator, and we made it to the executive floor in mere seconds.
The doors slid open before I could control my breathing. "I don't know what to think," I said. "So, I'm going to work."
I shoved past him and headed straight for Stan's office. When my mentor saw me, he finished up his phone call in record time. Then he pressed the button to shut his office door and went to his bar cart. I waved off a stiff drink and Stan handed me a bottle of water.
"This can't all be about the funding for your public outreach, can it?" Stan asked. "Just tell me what you want, Tasha, and we'll get it sorted out."
My eyes blurred but I refused to sniffle. "I don't know. I should. I did. But now I don't."
Stan sat down in the hard-backed chair next to me and reached for my hand. "So, take a minute."
I shook my head and blinked back the tears. "No. Ridiculous. I just need a new project to focus on. Where do you need me?"