"That I'm just a boring, old pencil-pusher?" I asked.
His eyebrows raised. "No. I think that means that we make a great team. So, what's next, boss?"
I was tired. Tired of fending off his warm charm and wondering why he smiled at me like that. It didn't help that Barbie had reminded me of how I felt when Rainer and I first met. That magical holiday party had left me walking on air for the whole weekend. Then he'd come back to his senses and didn't even recognize me on Monday morning.
I was too tired to pretend it didn't hurt. It was taking every ounce of self-control I had to keep from wanting him again. I had spent months agonizing over why other women got to enjoy him, his flirtations and caresses. Why didn't I get the same treatment unless he was blind drunk?
Because I was boring. According to the office rumors, I was the Ice Queen. Rainer would never be interested in me.
"How about we grab some dinner?" Rainer interrupted my thoughts.
I shook my head. "I'm done with high heels for the day. It's time for take-out and stretching out on my couch."
Rainer stepped aside so I could head back towards my car. "I'm overstaying my welcome, aren't I?"
I paused, wedged between him and the wide plant tables. The smell of honeysuckle was heavy around us and bees mumbled quietly. I couldn't tell if Rainer was playing a game or if he really looked sad. "It's not like I'm kicking you out of my neighborhood. You really like it here?" I asked.
Rainer leaned on the table behind him. "What's not to like? The city and all of that is far away. The winding roads, the hills, it all makes it seem like its own world. No wonder you're so good at your job. Once you get here, you're away from it all."
"I thought you were admiring the view of places you'd rather be," I said.
"I was admiring the distance. Why won't you believe me when I say I had a good day out here?" Rainer asked.
I was being unkind. As my mentor repeatedly reminded me, when I got too paranoid about work, I started to turn into the very kind of co-worker I hated. I couldn't see a single reason why Rainer would be lying, so I gave in. "Well, if you like Thai food, then you're welcome to have dinner with me."
It wasn't until after we'd picked up the food, plus a bottle of red wine from my local market, that I started to panic. Rainer was walking up the steps to my condo. The man who had just bought a mansion in Presidio Heights, the man who only dined at the finest restaurants with fawning women, was about to eat pad Thai off of paper plates in my tiny condo.
My fingers fumbled with my keys. "My place is a mess. It's tiny. Maybe we should have eaten in the restaurant."
Rainer snorted. "Too late now. You're not the only one who wants to get out of uncomfortable dress shoes."
I opened the door, still surprised when he slipped off his polished Italian shoes and padded into my cramped living room in his dress socks. He peeled off his suit coat and tossed it over the back of a threadbare armchair, and didn't say anything when he almost tripped over the oversized steamer trunk I used as a coffee table.
"Give me a second and I'll find some clean plates," I said.
"Paper plates are fine," Rainer said. "Who cares when we have this view to look at."
He walked to the window, and I remembered my flash-fantasy with an uncomfortable twinge. Rainer was completely at ease as he tore himself away from the view. I pulled two plates out of my cupboard with a loud rattle, determined that we'd at least eat on real china. "I know it's cramped in here, but it's usually just me."
"Well, I was going to say this place has everything you need, until you said that." Rainer pinned me with a long look.
I cleared my throat and groped in a drawer, trying to get my thoughts under control. It had been months sin
ce I had brought anyone home. Work was always such a good excuse, but Rainer wasn't buying it. I tossed him a corkscrew. "All I need is dinner and a glass of wine."
Rainer opened the wine and poured two large glasses. "You really don't bring anyone home? I'm honored."
I heaped two plates to overflowing and skirted around him to my small table. "You don't count. You're from work."
Rainer was right behind me when I put the plates down and turned around. "Work's over there. Far away. This is different."
I should have hated the thrill that ran up my back. I should have recited every name in the long list of his known office conquests in my head. I should have pushed him away and reminded us both that work was all we had.
Instead, I kissed him.
His sharp intake of breath assured me he was just as shocked as me. His lips were tart with the first sip of his wine, but the second kiss was warmer, sweeter. I reached up on tiptoes to brush my lips against his again. Without my high heels, I felt small, slight against his wide chest. His loose collar brushed my bare neckline and the caress of it made me want to lean in. He was tall and strong; there was so much power there. At work, I spent every second guarding myself, holding myself up higher and straighter. It felt so good to let it go and sink against him.
Rainer's hands slipped around my waist, crushed me to him, and then backed off. I felt the heat of them hovering just over my hips, and I longed to feel the pressure of his grasp again.