“She did, yes,” Jake nodded. “We got married a year after we’d met.”
“It was sudden?”
Jake nodded, and I could tell by the expression on his face that he was reliving certain moments as he narrated them.
“We eloped,” he recalled. “My parents had both passed on, and Daphne didn’t have the best relationship with her parents. So, we decided it should just be the two of us.
“We never planned for Noah. We wanted to wait till our thirties to have children, once we had both retired from the military and we could be around to raise our kids. So when Daphne found out she was pregnant… It was a shock.
“So we made a plan. Daphne would go back home and have the baby, and I would continue on in the military for a few more years. Her pregnancy was probably the best, most wonderful time in our marriage. She was so happy, and I was, too. Once we’d gotten over the shock of having a baby so early, we both embraced our new future, and we started looking forward to parenthood.”
I saw Jake’s expression sadden considerably, and I knew something had changed in that time. I reached out to take his hand, and he gripped mine tightly as he continued.
“I took special leave to be here with her when she had Noah. I came a week before and was scheduled to leave a month after. I noticed that Daphne was a little different. She was quieter and more somber than usual, but I just chalked it up to nerves. Then Noah was born and… I realized that something was wrong.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Jake sighed deeply. “Daphne was not herself. She was sad, she cried all the time, she refused to breastfeed Noah, and some days she even refused to pick him up.”
My body went cold as I realized what Daphne had suffered from. “Post-partum depression,” I whispered.
He nodded. “A doctor suggested therapy, but Daphne refused to go. She holed up in her room for days after that appointment, and when she finally emerged, she told me she was re-enlisting.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling an intense wave of sadness hit me. I couldn’t even imagine what Daphne would have gone through; I could imagine what Jake would have gone through.
“We fought a lot about that decision,” he said softly. “I was not a good husband to her. I was…unkind.”
“Oh, Jake—”
“I said awful things to her,” he said, and his voice broke slightly as he spoke. “I accused her of hating Noah and me; I told her she was an awful mother and a terrible human being. I told her that she would be punished for abandoning her son.”
Jake hung his head down, and I could sense all the regret that he had lived with for the past three years. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him tightly. “You were angry and confused, Jake,” I said. “You didn’t mean the things you said to her.”
“Still, those moments were her last memories of me.”
“Did you speak to her…after she left?”
“We spoke every week, more or less,” Jake admitted. “But they were short, strained conversations. She wanted to see Noah; she said she wanted to see me. But…the truth is, I was jealous. She was out there doing what I wanted to do myself. I was drowning here with Noah, and I hated being left here alone with him. I hated her for forcing me to stay behind. And, I think she knew that.”
“It’s not wrong to feel that way, Jake,” I told him softly. “Every new parent feels that way as they have a child, and you didn’t have help. It’s normal.”
“It all seems so stupid now,” he said. “Fighting with her over leaving… Does it even matter? What mattered was that she came back.”
“Is this the first time you’ve spoken about all this?” I asked.
“Pretty much,” he sighed, sounding tired.
“How do you feel now?”
He was quiet for a moment, and I realized he was thinking about it. He turned to me with a surprised look on his face. “I feel…better.”
I smiled. “That’s a start.”
Jake was looking at me carefully, as though seeing me for the first time. He reached out and touched the side of my face. Then he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips.
“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered to me.
I nodded once, and Jake got up off the floor and offered his hand to help me to my feet. Then he led me to the foot of his bed. He turned to me and pulled me closer to him as he started kissing my lips again. This time, I felt the rising build of desire course through me. There was everything sexual about this kiss, and I knew I could lose myself with this man.