I paused. “You can never have too many cups of coffee,” I said, forcing the smile to stay on my face. “Why don’t you try it? It’s really good.”
“You tried my coffee?”
“Uh no, of course I didn’t try your coffee,” I said. “I had some coffee myself a little while ago. It was good, so I can definitely recommend it.”
Jake looked slightly nonplussed, but I refused to excuse myself just yet. I was going to power through this awkwardness that stood between us for the last few weeks. I wasn’t sure how much more of it I could take, but I didn’t want to have to quit, either.
“Kristen,” Jake said, saying my name for the first time in a week. “I’m really busy, and I’ve made myself extremely plain before. I don’t like interruptions. I expect to find you in my office when I’ve asked you into my office.”
I set the cup of coffee down onto his desk, wondering if he would drink it once I’d left or just throw it out. I knew he expected me to leave, but I simply could not abide the way he was treating me.
“How’s Noah?” I blurted out.
Jake raised his eyebrows, and I detected slight anger in the downward tilt of his mouth. “I have work to do,” he said. “I don’t have time for small talk.”
“He cut his hand,” I said. “Has it healed yet?
Of course it would have healed. That was weeks ago, but I was just so desperate to find a way out of the awkward work environment that had encapsulated me lately that I was willing to bring up anything.
You need to change the bandage,” I added, when Jake didn’t say anything.
“You don’t think I’m aware of that?” Jake snapped. “I’m his father; I know what’s best for him.”
“I didn’t mean to suggest that you didn’t,” I said, holding my ground. “I just wanted to make sure his hand was alright.”
“It’s fine,” Jake said shortly. “It healed awhile ago.”
“That’s good,” I nodded. “And the leaf project he was working on… How did that go in school?”
I saw the furrow of Jake’s eyebrows, and I realized immediately that he had no clue that Noah had a leaf project to complete. I could also tell that he didn’t want to admit that. He stood up and narrowed his eyes at me.
“Go back to your desk,” he said, in a commanding voice that reminded me he had served in the military. “Now.”
I held his gaze for one second and then nodded, having finally lost my smile. “Enjoy your coffee,” I said curtly.
“Take it with you,” he said. “I don’t want it.”
I bristled at how rude he was being, and instead of embarrassing myself further, I picked up the coffee I had brought him and headed out the door. By the time I sat back down at my desk, I was fuming. I felt angry tears prick at the corner of my eyes and wanted to scream or throw something or storm back into Jake’s office just to tell him I was quitting because he was such an obnoxious jerk.
I almost stood at one point, but fear won out as I realized that I was still too nervous to confront him that openly—or confront him at all, really. Frustrated at myself by this point, I turned to my computer to try to get some work done, but I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. Every time I tried to get something done, I found myself rehearsing the speech I would use to chew out Jake in my head.
“Fuck it,” I said to myself as I opened my email and started typing on a whim.
“Jake,” I started, refusing to call him sir or Mr. Middleton, which was how I usually referred to him. “Over the last few weeks, you have behaved incredibly unprofessionally towards me. I understand I am your subordinate, and you are my superior, but that does give you the right to treat me as you have for the last few weeks. I have done my best to do everything you have asked of me; I even went out of my way to do you a favor and babysit your son. And how did you choose to show your appreciation for that bit of kindness? You kicked me out of your apartment at four in the morning, forcing me to walk the streets of San Diego like some common hooker. I could have been raped or murdered or worse.”
I knew I was getting a little carried away. I knew the email was teetering off into strange places, but I didn’t care. It was therapeutic to get it out, and I was actually feeling a little better as I put it all down. Halfway through writing the email, I realized I was never actually going to send it, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to get everything off my chest, and this was proving to be extremely helpful.
“How would you have felt then, Jake? What if my dismembered corpse had turned up in some lonely alleyway? Would you have even cared? Probably not, because there are people who are innately selfish, and these people don’t give a flying fuck about the little man. I have realized that you are one of those people.
“I have to say I’m disappointed. When I first took this job, I was proud to work under someone who had served our country. In my mind, you were a hero. More than that, I thought you were a good man and a decent human being. But apparently, you are neither. No, you are a selfish, arrogant prick who thinks you can just use people and then discard them afterward. I didn’t expect anything more than a thank you that night. But all I got was a cruel awakening.
“You, Jake Middleton, may be the CEO of this company and you may have been a major in the military, but I regret to inform you that you are also a complete and total jerk. That’s right, a jerk.
“Actually, you know what? Jerk is too nice a term for you. I’ll go with asshole, bastard, and douchebag. They seem more appropriate. You may rank above me, but that does not mean you are better than me. It does not give you the right to treat me like a slave and a non-person. I am a human being, and I deserve and demand respect.
“Yours sincerely, Kristen.”
The moment I finished typing, I let out a breath of air and felt instantly better. I stared at the email I had just written and actually cracked a smile. I wondered how Jake would react if I actually sent it. I sighed. “I can’t send it,” I said.