Luis put a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got a lot to work through, Jake,” he said, using my first name. It was a sign that he was seriously concerned about me and wanted to help in any way that he could, even if it meant exposing me to some harsh realities.
“I know,” I admitted.
“I’m glad you’re aware of that,” he said. “Because your son is going to need you. He needs a father that’s present and happy and at peace with the past.”
I sighed. “How can I be at peace with the past, Luis?” I asked. “Especially how things were between Daphne and I those last few months before she was deployed.”
“Figure it out, Jake,” Luis said gently. “You have to—for Noah’s sake. You have to be both parents for him, and that means you have to fight harder to deal with your demons. Otherwise, they’re going to eat you whole, and your son is going to suffer for it.”
I sighed. “Serving in the military was easier,” I said, looking out towards the ocean as I tried to find a silver lining.
“This is going to be just as much of a battle for you,” Luis agreed. “But you have to keep reminding yourself that you can do this.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You were a major in the army,” he pointed out. “You have the discipline and the determination. Now you just need the hope.”
“Hope,” I sighed. “Hope is the hardest emotion to summon.”
Luis patted me hard on the back. “It’s also the hardest emotion to kill.”
Chapter Ten
Kristen
>
“Today’s going to be different,” I told myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror.
Giving myself pep talks while staring at various reflective surfaces seemed to be my morning ritual now. I had woken up feeling reasonably happy, and I hoped that the feeling would last through the day. I was wearing a pencil skirt and a collared blouse with billowy sleeves. It was perhaps a little much for a personal assistant, but I wanted to feel confident today.
I had worn my hair down and added a little mascara and eyeliner for extra effect. I walked into work feeling positive for the first time in ages. I was going to take control of the situation, I told myself repeatedly as I walked to my desk. I was not going to let Jake’s attitude bother me one bit. I was going to do my job, be professional, and allow him to vent out whatever frustrations he was working through.
Jake had still not arrived when I sat down at my desk, so I took the opportunity to get myself some coffee and do some paperwork. I had just finished arranging his schedule for the day when he walked in. I saw him coming from the corner of my eye and stood up for no reason.
Take control of the situation, I told myself. Don’t let him ignore you. With that refrain reeling in my head, I made direct eye contact and gave Jake a smile that was perhaps a little wider than it needed to be.
“Good morning, Mr. Middleton,” I said, in a cheerful voice.
He barely glanced in my direction. His eyes flitted to me for a short moment, he nodded once, and then he disappeared into his office and slammed the door in my face.
Irritated and angry, I could feel my good mood slip away from me. He had no right to treat me this way. He hadn’t even offered me an explanation for this bizarre reaction the night I had babysat for Noah. I took a deep breath and went over to the lunchroom where I got together a special blend of cinnamon coffee for Jake and headed to his office with fresh determination.
I knocked on the twice, short, sharp raps that indicated I meant business. I was met with only silence, so I was forced to knock again.
“What is it?” Jake’s annoyed voice sounded from the other side.
I pushed the door open and walked in without an invitation. I could tell from Jake’s expression that he was not happy with the intrusion. I rarely came into his office without reason.
“I didn’t call you,” he said tersely.
“I’m aware of that, sir,” I said, struggling to keep my tone polite. “I just thought you might like some cinnamon coffee. They brought in a new blend only yesterday, and I remembered that meeting where you specifically requested cinnamon coffee.”
Jake looked stunned for a moment. Then I saw his eyebrows rise a little. “So…you remembered that little detail and brought me cinnamon coffee this morning?”
“I did,” I nodded.
“I already had coffee on my way here,” he said, glancing down at his papers.