“Still not understanding where you’re going with this?”
I smiled. “He could have been an ax murderer or a rapist or something,” I said, thinking momentarily of Jake. “And even if he were none of those things, he could still have had like three different STDs.”
“We used a condom, obviously,” Melody said.
“Still,” I said. “The man was a complete stranger to you.”
“So?” she asked. “I’ve known couples who’ve been married within a week of meeting one another, and they’ve had epic love stories.”
“With each other?” I asked teasingly.
“Very funny,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. “It’s possible.”
“So you’re saying that you met Shamus at the grocery store and thought he had the potential to be ‘the one’ and so you brought him to your apartment and slept with him in the hope that one day you might marry him and bear his children.”
“When you say it like that, it sounds naïve and cheesy.”
“If the shoe fits.”
“Bitch,” Melody laughed. “I thought we had a connection, okay?”
“And…did you?”
“We did for the first hour. It sort of disintegrated the moment he came,” Melody said, with distaste. “He put on his pants, and I was expecting some kind of…conversation, I suppose.”
“And, I’m assuming he thoroughly disappointed on that front?”
“He disappointed on all fronts, my friend,” Melody said. “Even the sexual front. Basically, I was trying to engage him in conversation and was on the verge of asking him to stay for dinner when his phone started ringing. He answered it, said like three words, and then hung up. When I asked him if he could stay for dinner, he turned around, looked me in the eye, and said, and I quote, ‘Sorry I’ve got to go; that was my wife, and she wants me home for dinner.’”
“He was married,” I said.
Melody sighed. “Naturally, I got pissed off and asked him what he was doing fucking random women when he had a wife at home.”
“What did he say?”
“He assumed I was just looking for a fuck, too,” Melody said. “So I got angrier and started yelling, and he got the hell out of my apartment. I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.”
“Geez,” I said. “The guys you attract are seriously insane.”
“It’s not my fault I’m a hopeless romantic.”
“I don’t understand how you can just jump into bed with a random stranger.”
“Are you telling me that you’ve never fucked a guy you’ve just met?”
I hesitated a second. Melody didn’t need to know that I was a virgin. I knew she’d freak out if she did, and I’d have to spend the rest of the night explaining my choice to her.
“No,” I replied.
“Such a Virgin Mary.”
I snorted with laughter and Melody looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face, obviously unaware of the secret…my other secret. I realized suddenly that I was juggling a lot of different secrets all at the same time. Of course, being a virgin wasn’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, especially in light of my position as Jake’s assistant.
But the reference did almost made me laugh out loud, especially given that I was exactly like Mary in that I was a virgin, too—a closeted virgin, but a virgin nonetheless. I still didn’t want to admit that to Melody, though. It wasn’t that I was ashamed or anything. I just didn’t want to have to explain my reasons to her. Nor did I want to have to fend off all the guys she would undoubtedly throw my way.
“You’re thinking of your boss again, aren’t you?” Melody asked.
My eyes went wide with surprise, and I knew I had just given myself away with that reaction. “Uh, no.”