“Kristen,” I heard Jake’s familiar voice on the other line. “It’s Jake.”
“Oh, hello,” I said, noting that he sounded slightly concerned. Or maybe he just sounded a little out of it. I wondered if he was more stressed about his big meeting or about the fact that he had entrusted a virtual stranger with his son.
I told him that I had everything under control when he asked about Noah. It was a run of the mill conversation, but I sensed that something was up with Jake. It was almost like he needed someone to talk to. Even after I assured him that Noah was well and sleeping, he stayed on the line basking in a silence that seemed pregnant with some unnamed emotion.
“Uh…is there anything else you wanted to know?” I asked.
“No, I guess I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was…alright.”
“Don’t worry about a thing,” I assured him. “I’ve got everything under control.”
“Thank you.”
I was on the verge of asking him if something was wrong, but I changed my mind at the last minute and chose to ask him about the meeting instead. Soon after, he said goodnight and hung up, leaving me to his silent apartment again.
I turned back to Daphne’s picture, and for a second, it almost felt as though she were staring at me. “Do you mind that I’m here?” I whispered softly.
A second later, I heard a noise come from Noah’s bedroom and then I heard his high-pitched voice call out for me. It gave me little butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It made me feel scared and touched all in the same breath.
“I’m here, Noah,” I called, rushing to his side. “Don’t worry, darling; I’m coming.”
Chapter Seven
Jake
It took three attempts before the damn key fit in the lock. “Fuck,” I muttered to myself. “I had a little too much to drink tonight.”
I stumbled into the apartment and accidentally dropped my keys when I tried to hang them up by the door. Cursing again, I picked them up and set them on the kitchen counter. I turned on one light and headed to the sofa where I collapsed immediately. It was almost three in the morning. I had stayed longer than I had anticipated, but I was relieved that the deal was finally closed and everyone seemed happy.
Noah and Kristen would definitely be asleep. I wanted to check on Noah, but I decided to wait a little until I was a little steadier on my feet. I looked up and saw that Daphne was staring at me out of her frame. She seemed to be looking at me with pity and quite a bit of judgment.
“You have no right to judge me,” I told her fiercely. “You have absolutely no right. You left. You abandoned Noah and me.”
The more I stared at her, the more I could understand. She wasn’t just judging me. She didn’t just pity me. She was disappointed. I could see it in the arch of her eyebrows and the way her mouth was turned down at the corners. Her hazel eyes were filled with emotion. I had always thought it was contentment, an odd sense of peace that came with self-actualization and understanding, but now I saw it for what it really was. She was sad, she was scared, but most of all, she was relieved.
“How could you do that to us?” I demanded quietly. “You had no right to do what you did.”
Another memory reared its head, and I bent my head down, unable to look at her picture any longer. She was standing before me with tears in her eyes. She was reaching out for me, but I was turning away from her.
“Please, Jake,” she said, and her voice shook when she spoke. “Please try and understand.”
“I don’t understand,” I snapped. “Don’t expect me to.”
“You’re my husband,” she said, emphasizing the last word. “How could I not expect that?”
“How can you be so selfish?” I demanded, glaring at her.
“Because… Oh, Jake… I’m drowning,” she sobbed, and finally, the tears slipped free of her face.
I tried to push the memory aside, but it was too overpowering. All I could do was bend my head and wait for it to pass. I could feel her at my back, imploring me silently to turn around, to face her—but I couldn’t. I was too angry, too hurt, and too lost to offer her the comfort she needed.
“How… How am I supposed to do this?” I asked her. “I can’t—”
“You can,” she said, cutting me off. She came forward and grabbed my hand in both of hers. “Don’t you see, Jake? You always said that I was your rock. But you got it wrong. I was never the strong one… It was always you.”
I looked up at her and saw those perfect hazel eyes. I saw the woman I had fallen in love with, and I realized that she wasn’t really the same person. Not anymore. She had changed—she was different. There was something about her that I couldn’t recognize anymore, and that scared me.
“Is that it, then?” I demanded angrily, pulling my hand from hers. “You’re putting this all on me? You’re justifying your own selfishness by assuming I can handle it?”