“How was your Sunday?” I asked casually, trying to make small talk. I needed something to do to keep my mind off my wayward thoughts. If I didn’t get myself under control, I might have ended up trying to seduce him right then and there. I surely would have humiliated myself and lost a great client in the process.
“It was good. How was yours?” he asked. His voice was muffled slightly by the table.
“It was alright. I cleaned mostly,” I said. I paused and debated whether to keep t
he conversation going or not. I decided it couldn’t hurt. “Did you do anything fun?”
“Not really.” His short answer told me I should probably stop asking questions. I didn’t know how to handle his surly mood. Justin was always a lot more talkative during our sessions. In fact, most of the time he was the one asking me the questions and not the other way around.
But I continued to massage him slowly as I tried to get him to relax a little more. I admired his body as I worked. I admired the way all his muscles looked and felt. It was a major turn on, and sometimes, at home, I would find myself thinking about his half-naked body. All my protestations seemed ridiculous at that moment. Of course, I found Justin attractive. I always had.
I continued to work on his backside, and when the thirty minutes were up, I asked if he wanted me to work on his front for the last thirty minutes.
“Yeah, that would be good,” he said.
He rolled over so I could massage his arms and chest and shins. Almost instantly, I felt a spark between us that I’d never felt before. His chest and abs were my favorite part of his body, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away as my hands glided over them. I was glad his eyes were closed. At least he wouldn’t see me staring at him like Ally had after his fight.
The thirty minutes were up sooner than I hoped, and when he sat up, I was still standing next to the massage table. He was inches from my face. Our eyes met, and he looked at me with such intensity that I let myself think he might kiss me. Unconsciously, I leaned in half an inch. Then, he spoke and snapped me back to reality.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. But I can’t come get massages anymore,” he said. I took a small step backward in surprise.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said because I didn’t know what else to say. I was trying to remain professional, but I was incredibly confused.
“I just can’t afford it. I have too many bills, and I need to spend more time at the gym and with my daughter. It’s just a luxury I can’t afford right now,” he explained.
“I understand,” I said, trying to muster up my most professional smile. I stepped outside of the room and let him get dressed in private. While he got dressed, I tried to wrap my head around what just happened. I thought for sure he was going to kiss me, and instead he told me he couldn’t see me anymore. He was only talking about getting massages from me, but besides his fight the other night, we had never talked outside of work. The idea of not seeing him anymore made my stomach feel heavy.
I stood at the counter and waited for him. When he walked up to the counter, he didn’t say anything. As he paid for the session, the air between us felt thick with unspoken tension.
“Well…goodbye, Anna,” he said.
“Goodbye, Justin,” I said back.
I couldn’t help the overwhelming sadness I was starting to feel. I didn’t know him that well yet, but I thought things were starting to turn a corner for us and now he was saying goodbye. It didn’t seem like a simple, “I’ll see ya around” kind of goodbye. It felt final. At that moment, I felt like I would never see him again.
I tried to get through the rest of the day without thinking about him, but it was hard not to. My mind kept replaying everything in my head.
Had I done something wrong? Maybe when he saw me outside of this place, at his fight, he realized that I’m not who he thought I was. Maybe it was because I had admitted to being scared at the fight. Whatever it was, I could not help but feel like it was my fault. Like I had made some mistake along the way that made him not want to be around me.
I was glad I had cleared my schedule for the day because I knew I wouldn’t be able to give any more massages that day. I wouldn’t be able to make it through without thinking about Justin.
The worst part of it all was how heartbroken I felt. It made no sense. We hadn’t even kissed. I mean, we were about to right before he ran out, but it didn’t happen. And for some reason, I was feeling absolutely crushed. Ally had been wrong. She’d read Justin’s feelings for me all wrong, and it bothered me. How could she have gotten my hopes up like that?
Even though Ally bothered me so much lately about the whole Justin thing, at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to talk to my sister. For all her faults, Ally was still my best friend. I wasn’t sure what kept me from calling her, but I decided it was better to hide the whole thing. She might be judgmental, and it would tear me apart if she told me I’d done something wrong, something to screw things up. Besides, I still needed time to wrap my own head around what happened before I involved anyone else.
Chapter Five
Justin
It was finally the day of my big fight. I was at the arena again. Ready to win and forget about my problems. I was betting on myself this time, so winning was going to mean so much more than it ever had before. I had to win that night because if I didn’t, bad things were going to happen. I really did not want to find out what those things might be.
Ever since I left Anna’s massage studio the other day, I couldn’t seem to get her off my mind. The way her face fell when I told her that I couldn’t continue my sessions was hard to take. It felt so final, and that kind of messed me up a bit. I was really starting to like her.
I stepped into the cage as people were chanting my name, but it didn’t feel right. It felt nothing like the last time. I couldn’t focus. My game was way off. The last time I was there, the last time I was getting ready to fight, Anna was there. She was right there, in the crowd, supporting me and cheering me on. Even though she hated fighting, she still came because I asked her to. And I just let her down.
I tried to concentrate on what was going on, but it was hard. I had barely even heard the bell ring for the first round. I tried to shake this feeling and get my head in the game.
The guy, my newest opponent, got a couple cheap shots in, and I could hear Artie from the side line yelling at me to block better. To “focus on his weak points.” I tried, but for some reason, it was hard. I looked out into the crowd where Anna had been sitting on Saturday, and it just didn’t feel the same. The guy got me with a left hook and then a right. I was okay, not knocked out. But I still couldn’t get my head in the game. Before I looked back at him, I saw Markie in the crowd. He was smirking. That asshole. He was happy to see me lose because if I did, he would get to take me through the ringer.