She was right. I was ready. It did not matter if I had my entire life mapped out or if the rest of my day was an entire blank slate. I had a class and that was what I needed to focus on. The rest of my life could wait. Owen could wait.
; Even if it looked like he was done waiting for me.
My mind spiraled back to the party. It had been such a thrill to flirt with Dave and meet new people. Especially when Owen was watching me. Every time I felt his agate-blue eyes on me, I lit up like a candle. I knew it was wrong to enjoy him watching me, and I spent way too much of the party laughing and flirting just to feel his eyes on me again.
I had spent so many years watching Owen and my sister together that it felt really good to be on the opposite side. It felt so good that I had forgotten how jealous, then hurt, then defiant, and finally vengeful I had felt being in Owen's position. Every time I smiled at Dave, I had driven Owen a little farther away. Straight into the arms of some willowy redhead.
The thought made me sick.
"You're not sick, are you?" my new lab partner, Bella, asked. "Today would be the absolute worst day to be sick."
"No, I'm fine. Sorry, my mind was elsewhere," I said. I joined her at the stainless steel lab table.
"Oh, good. I'm glad. I have to admit I was really excited when our new lab pairings came out. I mean, I know you were gone for a while, but that just showed what an amazing student you are. To come back and shoot to the top of the test scores like that. That is impressive."
"To be honest, I don't know how I did it," I said. "Besides, your name is right up there, too."
"Yeah, but I can't say things like 'I don't know how I did it.' You're a natural. I work really, really hard," Bella said. "That's why I think we'll make great lab partners."
"Alright, class. I know some of you have been excited for this while others have been dreading it. Today, we start our cadavers research lab. You and your partner will each be assigned a cadaver and will work through a series of assignments that explore the human body firsthand," our professor said.
His teaching assistants wheeled sheet-covered gurneys into the lab as he spoke. Bella was already taking notes, but a buzzing had started in my ears and I could not hear what else the professor was saying.
One by one, the pairs of nursing students were uncovering their cadavers and taking initial observations. Ours arrived and was lifted onto the stainless steel table. Bella grabbed the sheet and peeled it back.
I saw blonde hair, the ashen gray forehead, and the lab exploded around me. Somewhere in the buzzing blare of light, I heard someone screaming. It was me.
"Quinn! Quinn! Are you alright?" Bella had me in a tight hug. I was sobbing against her shoulder. The floor slowly stopped undulating.
I stood up, shaking, and peeked over her shoulder. The cadaver was an old woman with white hair. She had to be at least 80 years old.
"I'm sorry," I said in a hoarse voice. "I don't feel well."
The professor tried to catch me, but I ran from the room. I could not sprint down the halls fast enough, and almost fell racing down the stairs. When I made it outside, I did not stop running. Tears streamed down my face as I ran blindly back to my dorm room.
"Quinn? Oh my God, Quinn, what happened?"
Owen's strong arms came out of nowhere and caught me up in an all-encompassing hug. I clung to him, the sobs ripping out of my chest again.
"Please, please tell me what happened. Are you alright?" He spoke against my hair, his body still wrapped protectively around me. "You're scaring me."
"I got scared, that's all," I said. "We started on the cadavers today. So gray."
He pulled me over to a bench and cradled me in his arms. When I could finally take a deep breath, I sat up in his lap. "I'm sorry," I said.
"Nothing to be sorry about. Maybe this just goes on the con list for nursing as a career," Owen said.
A laugh burst out and surprised us both.
"Wait, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I'm not stalking you. I swear," Owen said. He helped me to my feet and stood up. "I was here to talk to one of the computer programming classes."
"Sure," I said. My legs felt shaky and ruined the teasing.
"And then I decided to see if you were around. So, yes, I guess it turned into stalking," Owen said. "I'm sorry about the other night at the party."