“I do too, sometimes. But we’re not teenagers. Maybe though... maybe it would be better if we just called the whole thing off.”
“What? Why? You really don’t think you can pull it off, do you?”
“That’s not it at all. It’s just... it’s a little fucked, isn’t it? This whole thing? For her to lose her virginity because of some bet? That seems like something we would’ve done when we’re teenagers, and, since we’re not, maybe we should just call the whole thing off.”
“You’re just trying to get out of it,” Ben said. “You, who supposedly loves a good bet and doesn’t think he can lose, you are just looking for a way to get out of this because you know deep down that you can’t do it. Ha!”
“That’s not it, you fuckwad,” I said. “It just seems that someone who has managed to hold onto her virginity for this long should maybe not lose it just based on a stupid bet.”
“What are you talking about? There are plenty of girls walking around who are Allie’s age—and older—that are still virgins. I just saw one at the store the other day. She was about 40 pounds overweight and had a serious moustache.”
“Stop,” I said.
“I’m serious. And not only that, she also had—”
“I believe you,” I said, “I just don’t need you to elaborate about it anymore. What if we call it off, but I’ll still take you to whatever fucking game it is you want? How does that sound?”
“That sounds great, but it also sounds like you know that you’re just not going to be able to pull it off.”
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know, it just seems...it seems like a shitty thing to do.”
“To sleep with her? Fuck, man, you must suck in bed.”
“It just seems like when she loses her virginity it should be, you know, special.”
Ben let out a hoot. “What is this, a Lifetime movie or some shit? Are you one of those people who secretly believes that you should only have sex if you’re really in love with the person? Because if that was the case, I’d probably still be a virgin, too.”
“I’m not saying it has to be this huge, romantic, in-love sort of thing.”
“Oh, yeah? Because that’s what it sounds like. Are you really that concerned about it? I think the real thing that’s going on here is the fact that you just don’t think you can win. The fact that she’s a virgin means she’s spent a shitload of time not being with any guy, and she doesn’t really seem like that att
itude is going to change. At least that’s the impression I got from her when we hung out. And I think you’re realizing that you’re just not going to be able to do it, either. Which is fine and all, but I think we should acknowledge the fact that this is ending not because you’re being a gentleman about it, but because you know you’re not going to win.”
The thing was, though, I knew I could actually do it. One hundred percent knew it. And I couldn’t stand the fucking smirk on his face. Ben was my best friend, but I hated that he was sitting there thinking that he had won something, that he had found something that I couldn’t do. I should be the adult here, the grown-up, the 31-year-old man, not the 17-year-old that was apparently still residing inside of me, too, but that part of me simply couldn’t back down from a challenge like this, especially since it’s one that we had already agreed upon. It would make me look like I was the scared I wouldn’t be able to do it, even though that wasn’t the case at all.
“Fine,” I said. “We can keep everything exactly how it is. Nothing changes.”
He grinned. “Atta boy,” he said. “Now, you’re talking.”
Chapter Eleven
Allie
The Learning Center’s annual end-of-year fundraiser was being held at Moose Lake this year, which Becca told me was different than where they usually had it. The change in location, she said, had been at the request of some of the parents, who were wanting to try something “different.”
I was looking forward to it, but at the same time, I knew it would be a little stressful, just because there would be so many kids there, and I wasn’t sure if all of them knew how to swim.
“Usually, the fundraiser’s pretty boring,” Amy confided in me. “If you want to know the truth, so I’m glad that we’re having it here this year; I think it’ll be fun.”
It was a private beach, very large, with a dock, a fleet of jet skis, a pontoon boat, an anchored raft, a motorboat with a huge raft attached to the back, kayaks, a canoe, stand-up paddleboards, and a variety of lounge chairs, picnic tables, and beach toys. Two of the dads immediately volunteered to man the grill, while the mothers seemed to gather in small groups and the children built sandcastles, splashed in the water, and chased each other around on the beach.
“Are you going to try the jet skis?” Amy asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve never ridden on one before. Now probably wouldn’t be the best time to try it for the first time, though I wouldn’t mind giving the stand-up paddleboard a try. That seems like a safer bet.”