“Don’t you think I would tell her in a heartbeat if I could?” I asked. “I don’t want to hurt her, and because of that cruel asshole, I was forced to…publicly. But I have to think of her and do what’s best for her. No matter what that means for me. Otherwise, how I can I claim to love her?”
“And that’s all this is?”
“Excuse me?”
“This is a big commitment for you,” Lindsey said, looking at me carefully. “Are you sure you’re not taking the easy way out because you’re scared of continuing your relationship with Natalie.”
“I… that’s… that’s completely untrue.”
Lindsey just raised her eyebrows.
I sighed. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not… nervous.”
“You’re scared.”
“I’m going to stick to nervous,” I said impatiently. “But Lindsey… this is all just too hard. Her life might be easier without me.”
“Let her decide that,” Lindsey replied. “You just can’t let this jerk win.”
“I don’t have a choice,” I said.
“There are always choices,” she said, looking thoughtful. “But sometimes it’s easier for people like me.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing,” Lindsey mumbled. “Never mind. Listen, thanks for telling me all this, but I have to run now.”
“What?” I said. “Where to?”
“I’ve got some papers to grade.”
“Didn’t you finish grading your last papers yesterday?” I asked.
“Uh, did I?” Lindsey said unconvincingly. “Better go check just to make sure. Speak to you
later.”
“Wait, Lindsey, what are you planning?”
She didn’t bother answering me. Instead, she slammed the door and disappeared. I sighed and sat back against my chair. It had been a rough couple of days, and I was starting to think it was only going to get worse from here on out.
I picked up my phone, trying to resist the urge to visit my photo library. I still couldn’t muster up the courage to delete all my pictures of Natalie. I was just about to cave and visit the gallery when a call came in. When I saw that it was Sophie, I bit my lip and answered reluctantly.
“Hi, little bro,” Sophie greeted enthusiastically. “I’m just calling to remind you about our dinner tomorrow night. You’re bringing Natalie, right?”
“How’s Tommy?” I asked, ignoring her question.
She sounded a little taken aback, but she answered. “He’s sitting right next to me waiting for confirmation,” she replied. “He’s excited about showing you and Natalie his new animal dictionary. Also, thank Natalie for the book on Egypt she bought for him, he loves it. He’s already been through it five times. Tony and I are actually thinking of making a trip there in a few years. It’s the first time we’ve been so informed about a country we plan to visit.”
“Ah…that’s great.”
“You sound strange.”
“Do I?”
“What’s wrong?” she asked suspiciously. “Are you trying to cancel our dinner?”
“No,” I told her. “I’ll be there, but Natalie won’t be…”