“If he did, I obviously missed all the signs,” I said. “The fact that I thought he was going to propose proves that.”
Missy frowned and shook her head. “Did he say anything else?”
“He said he didn’t feel there was passion between us anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” she said angrily. “When was the last time you had sex with him?”
“A couple of days ago,” I admitted.
“And?” she asked. “How was it?”
“I thought it was earth-shattering, as usual,” I said. “The sex has always been amazing between us. But maybe that was all just in my head; maybe it was just amazing for me.”
Missy shook her head. “I seriously doubt that,” she said. “Women have been known to fake it in bed, but the same is not true for men. When a man is enjoying himself, you know it for sure.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I feel so…”
“Betrayed?” she offered.
“Hurt,” I said. “And confused.”
She sat down on the bed next to me and put her arm around my shoulders. “How long have you been sitting here crying by yourself?” she asked, with concern.
“Two hours,” I replied. “Give or take.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” she demanded.
“Your last exam is only days away,” I said. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Screw that,” she said, and I loved her for her unwavering loyalty. “This is more important.”
“At least I’m grateful he broke up with me after finals,” I said. “If it had been before, I wouldn’t have been able to get through my exams.”
“Oh sure, that was very thoughtful of him,” Missy hissed, and I knew she was pissed off on my behalf. “What a fucking jerk.”
Chance had hurt me badly, but still, it was hard for me to be angry with him. I couldn’t feel anything apart from hurt, sadness, and intense loss. “He didn’t want to be with me anymore,” I said. “I can’t blame him for that.”
“Well, I can,” Missy said passionately. “You are an amazing girl, and he’s a complete jerk for ending things with you.”
“Thanks for saying that.”
“I mean it,” she insisted, pulling me in for a hug.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without him, Missy,” I admitted, trying to push back my tears.
“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do,” she said fiercely. “You’re going to be sad for a couple of days, and then you’re going to rally like the survivor you are and get back to your life. You’re going to go out and meet new people, you’re going to graduate with honors, and then you’re going to find an awesome job, meet someone new, and put this whole relationship behind you.”
“I don’t even want to think of meeting someone new.”
“Maybe not right away,” she said. “But soon you are going to meet someone else, Nat, and he’s going to be better than Chance.”
I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but somehow, I was just getting more depressed. “Better than Chance?” I said. “There isn’t anyone better than Chance.”
“You think he’s the only hot teacher around?” she said. “Nuh-uh. I know it seems like you’re not going to want anyone other than Chance right now, but that’s a temporary state of mind. It’s not going to last. Trust me, Nat, the world is filled with handsome, smart, eligible bachelors.”
“I’m in love with him, Missy,” I said, feeling like a captive to my own emotions.
“I know,” she said gently as she took my hand. “And he was your first love, too. I understand that this is difficult. But take it one day at a time, and soon you’ll realize that you love him a little less each day.”