Acting on instinct, I walked around my desk and went straight towards her. I could see her tense a little as I approached, but I kept my expression and my tone business-like.
“I need to talk to you after the lecture,” I said.
She nodded, and I turned back and walked towards my desk. I found my mind wandering through the whole damn lecture. Every five seconds, it felt like I had to look in her direction to make sure she was actually there. It felt surreal somehow, and I was amazed that I had realized who she was that night. In hindsight, it should have been obvious. But I had been so enthralled by her dress and her hair that I had failed to see what was right in front of me. A part of me felt like a complete idiot.
I wondered momentarily if that was the real reason she had run from me. Had she been hoping I would recognize her? Had she been waiting to see if I was paying attention? Maybe she just didn’t want to sleep with some schmuck who didn’t know who she really was.
I kept stumbling through my lecture, making one mistake after another. When the hour came to a close, I breathed a sigh of relief as I came to the last slide.
As everyone piled out of the lecture hall, a few students came up to me to ask a couple of questions about my poorly-executed lecture. I answered their questions and watched them shuffle off, leaving me with an empty room. When I looked towards the seats, I realized that Natalie wasn’t alone. Jason was standing next to her, and they were talking.
Frowning, I took a step closer and listened in on their conversation unapologetically. I felt a little twinge of some emotion, but I refused to call it jealousy. Why would I be jealous of some douche who doesn’t even know how to speak to women? Still, I had no other word for the emotion I was feeling. It was odd, more so because of the fact that I’d never truly experienced the emotion before.
“You look amazing today,” Jason said, looking her up and down without any sense of subtlety.
“Thank you,” Natalie said, looking down self-consciously.
“Seriously, you look so, so good,” Jason continued. “I like the new look.”
“I have Missy to thank,” she said.
“How was your birthday celebration?” he asked.
I noticed there was a hint of irritation in his voice, as though he was angry about something, but he was hiding it under a false smile.
“It was great.” Natalie nodded. “Thanks for asking.”
I could see that she was trying very hard to be polite, but I could tell from her body language that she wasn’t a fan of Jason. That observation gave me a little burst of satisfaction.
“What did you do again?” he asked.
“Um…just stayed in,” Natalie lied, but she sounded guilty. She must have realized that, too, because she changed her story. “Actually, Missy and I did end up going out that night,” she admitted. “It was a last-minute decision.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
“And, did you have fun?”
“I did,” Natalie nodded.
“You could have called me,” he said bluntly. “I would have loved to celebrate with you.”
I gritted my teeth, but I maintained my distance. This was none of my business. Jason had every right to ask Natalie out, and Natalie had every right to say yes. She had made me no promises, nor did I want her to. Yet, even as I thought that, I felt another little spasm of what could only be jealousy.
“I… I just wanted it to my Missy and me,” Natalie said.
“Oh, so you weren’t interested in meeting guys?”
“Uh, Jason, I really have to get going,” she said politely.
“Oh right, of course,” he said, but he was still blocking her path. “I won’t take up too much of your time. I just wanted to ask you a question?”
“Oh,” she replied. She looked weary, and I knew instantly that she knew what he was going to ask and really wished he wouldn’t.
“Will you go out with me?” he asked. “On a date?”
She was quiet for a moment. Then she gave him a small, apologetic smile. “Jason, that’s very sweet of you, but I have to be honest with you; I’m really not interested.”