The good girl side of my brain set off all the warning alarms, but Adam short-circuited them all by laying me down and softly caressing my now-naked body as he lay down next to me and kissed me again. He explored every inch of exposed skin before slipping his hand between my thighs and gently pushing them apart.
"You're so soft and warm," he murmured into my lips as he stroked the skin between my thighs eliciting a moan from me.
"Adam," I whispered as I spread my legs. "I want you. Now."
Before I could say another word, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and slipped out of his boxers. I gasped at the sight of his naked body. He covered my body with his own as he positioned himself between my legs, coating his shaft in the wetness he'd inspired before slowly pushing inside of me. I groaned as he began moving his hips. I knew this wasn't the smartest choice, but the part of me that wanted to be me, and not the Amish sister or business owner or orphan, stubbornly clung to the notion that this would remind me of where I belonged, and who I really was.
We moved in unison as we ground against one another seeking the release that we both craved. Sweat dripped from Adam's face and welled up between my breasts and ran down my stomach making our bodies slick and slippery. I could feel him stroking me as I reached for the release I knew would send us both spinning and as he thrust into me, I hit the edge and cried out as I climaxed. Adam wasn't far behind and I felt him throbbing and jerking as he, too, released.
We lay there for a long time, not saying a word as we caught our breath. The reality of what we'd done suddenly hit me and I could feel the panic beginning to well up. Adam rolled to one side and gathered me in his arms pulling me against his chest as he kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, are you?" I said as my lips brushed his smooth chest.
"I'm great," he replied before kissing my head again. "But I don't think I should have done that."
"You didn't do it. We did," I said suddenly feeling stubborn. "I'm a grown-up, not a child, you know."
"Hey, hey, easy, lady," he said as he tipped my chin up and looked into my eyes. "I'm not trying to undermine your autonomy. I was just commenting on the fact that we didn't use protection, and that was my responsibility."
"Oh, I see," I said calming down and then feeling the panic rise again as I realized he was right.
"Whatever happens, I'm not sorry," he said gently kissing my lips.
"I'm not sorry either," I said sounding more like a defensive child than the woman he desired.
"Grace, why are you so defensive?" he asked looking at me with an expression that told me he was honestly curious.
"It's a long story," I said lightly tracing the seatbelt shaped bruise that ran diagonally across his chest. "Does this still hurt?"
"You're avoiding my question," he smiled. "And yes, it still hurts, but less since Verity gave me that ointment to put on it."
"Did she give you arnica?" I asked running my fingers down the length of his arm and twining my fingers with his.
"I don't know what it is, but it's helped with the pain and the swelling," he said as he squeezed my fingers. "Grace, are you still in love with Gabe?"
"What?"
"Are you still in love with Gabe?" he repeated.
"Oh my God, no!" I cried as I threw my head back and laughed. Adam watched me with a dark look on his face until I said, "Gabe and I were sweethearts when we were kids, but that's been over for a long time. He's like a brother to me, but he believes that I've just taken a wrong road and that if he's patient enough, I'll return."
"Will you?"
"No, it's not like that, Adam," I said searching his eyes as I tried to decide whether to tell him the whole story or not. There was part of me that didn't want him to know about my other life, but I wasn't sure why that was. "It's complicated."
"Isn't it always," he said looking away. I knew I was perilously close to shutting him down if I didn't say something.
"Adam, how can I help you do what you came down here to do?" I asked trying to push the conversation in another direction.
"Nice diversion tactic," he said with a small smile. He kissed me again and then said, "Look, I need to sell at least ten of these turbines in order for my company to be able to sign a contract with the manufacturers, but your bishop doesn't want anything to do with this project. So unless he changes his mind, we're done."
"What would it mean to sell twenty of them?" I asked, uncertain about what the whole process involved and scared that he'd aimed too high. Most Amish people didn't have a whole lot of extra cash laying around to invest, so asking them for money would be pointless.
"I need to be able to place at least twenty turbines on farmland to get the wind farm going and be able to sell the excess back to the power company," he explained as he stroked my arm with his thumb. I could feel the heat rising between my legs as he talked. "The crazy part is that it doesn't require any investment from the people who agree to let us put the turbines in their fields. We pay them rent according to how much energy is generated on their land."
"So, what are we talking about? A couple hundred dollars a month?" I asked as I reached up and stilled his hand.