“How come?”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about this with him. Everything I said would be a lie. It should have been obvious in a strange way, but the only person I wanted to spend time with was him. It was so wrong since he was engaged to another woman, but I couldn’t deny the feelings he had stirred inside of me lately. I had to be under some wedding spell. I’d been down this road before with Parker. There were times in my life I imagined being with him, but I couldn’t risk our friendship. I would be lost without him, and I wasn’t about to spill my heart out to someone who was in no way available to me like that.
“I haven’t found the right person,” I lied.
“It’s hard to do that when you’re either working or sleeping.”
Or spending time with you…
“I have to work to keep my business. It’s just Tony and me.”
“You could hire someone else.”
“I will, when it’s the busy season.” I usually hired part-time employees during the tourist times, but I had to find someone that gelled with the dynamic that Tony and I created at the diner.
“If you let me help you by investing…” he trailed off.
I gave him a look. “You already know the answer to that one.”
He smirked. “I’m never going to stop until you say yes.”
“Then I suppose you’re going to have to ask forever.”
“I want to see you happy, Sienna.”
“I am happy. But to be honest, I don’t think love is in the cards for me.”
“Don’t be like that,” he said.
“I’m not being pessimistic; I just don’t see myself with anyone.” Anyone but you. God, I needed to nip this in the bud before I got my heart broken.
“I can’t wait to prove you wrong.”
“Why? Do you have a guy you want to set me up with?”
“I think that would be wrong on so many levels.”
I laughed. “Probably.”
We were silent for a few minutes. My mind lingered on the subject of love. Until recently, I rarely thought about dating. I had Parker and Tony in my life, who else did I need? But with Parker’s pending nuptials, it dawned on me: I was almost thirty and hadn’t had a serious boyfriend for almost five years. Was there something wrong with that? Sure, as a little girl I’d imagined my own wedding day, but there had only been one guy I wanted standing next to me. I couldn’t even admit the name to myself. It wasn’t going to happen, and Parker was set in his mind about marrying Rachel.
“I’m starving,” I said. “How about I make a couple grilled cheeses?”
“That sounds great,” Parker said. “Do you have that cheddar?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“I love that shit,” Parker said.
I giggled. Being in the restaurant business had its perks. Along with stocking Sunny Daes with the best ingredients, I sometimes ordered for my own personal kitchen. Those who I was close with expected the same quality of cooking as I did professionally, and I never disappointed.
Parker wanted to help prepare the meal, so I gave him the opportunity to wash some vegetables with a salad. He was hopeless in the kitchen and was happy that I allowed him to even do that.
After I made four grilled cheese sandwiches and a chopped salad, we made our way back to the porch to eat. By then, the sun was higher in the sky and much warmer. I opened the attached umbrella on the table to shade us while we ate. Our conversation didn’t delve into my love life, but we were able to reminisce, something we hadn’t done in a while. Maybe this was what weddings were about: taking your past and bringing them together with a hopeful future. Even though I wasn’t going to be the one to walk down the aisle toward him, I still held a prominent position in his heart.
It was almost three o’clock before I noticed how late it was.
“We should get going on those decorations. I can’t believe I lost track of hours of time.”