I shook my head. “No. That is not the way to deal with it. Who would tell others about how great your loved one was. Somebody needs to tell the stories and remember them.”
“I like my idea better,” she said, scrunching up her nose.
I knew she was only partly joking. She was in pain. A pain I knew all too well.
“It’s my sister,” she blurted out.
I looked at her, not saying a word.
“My sister, she d-died eight months ago. We were Irish twins, as my mom would say. Talia was eleven months younger than me. She went out boating, like we always did, but she didn’t come home,” she said, choking out the last bit.
I leaned forward, wanting to cradle her in my arms and squeeze away the pain.
She held up a hand. “Don’t you dare say it.”
Leaning back in my chair, I nodded. “The wound is still raw. Give it time, Tessa. I’ve had nearly four years to process everything. Don’t push yourself.”
She picked up her coffee and studied the cup before taking a drink.
I waited, not pushing her. She would talk when she was ready.
“Thank you,” she said after several minutes. “Really. It’s nice to hear it straight and not all sugar coated and crap.”
“Death does funny things to people. Everybody deals with it in their own unique way. Some people want to shower you with casseroles, and others want to run the opposite direction because they don’t know what to say to you.”
She slapped her hand on the table. “Yes! Thank God! I thought it was just me. Do you know I only have one friend who stuck around after Talia died? I live with her,” she continued, then took a drink of coffee and winked. “She can’t escape me.”
I laughed. “I have a cat, Dexter. He is the world’s laziest ball of fur and does nothing more than eat, sleep and poop, but he has stuck by my side. And my brother. My kid brother is always there pushing me, but at least he knows when to back off.”
“Yep, Maria is the same way. I’m glad you have someone,” she said, in a serious tone.
“Me, too. I mean, I’m glad you have Maria. Being alone at home every day is rough. I know from experience. It amplifies the loss.”
She shook her coffee cup. “Empty.”
I tried to hide the disappointment on my face. I was enjoying her company and really liked talking to her. She was only twenty-two, but she was wise beyond her years.
“Want me to take yours?” she asked, standing and walking to the nearby trash. She was standing within a foot of the mister. She held her arms out, “That feels good. Come stand here for a second.”
I stood and walked towards her, staring at the way her skin glistened. Dewy. That was the word she used. It made me think of sex.
“I should go,” I said abruptly. “Listen, Tessa, it gets better,” I said before I quickly dashed out of the cafeteria.
She was standing there, staring at me, “Bye,” she said to my back.
I knew I was acting a fool, but I had to get away from her. She made me feel too much.
Chapter Eight
Tessa
A warm breeze washed over me, bringing the smell of wet leaves and rotting plants. Most people would hate the smell, but I loved it. It was the smell of the water. This was my special place. It was where I came to think and be alone. Being in nature and near the water always made me feel close to Talia. We both had a natural affinity for water.
I stared out at the water, watching it gently move under the marshy layer on top of the pond. The way it moved slowly and without a care was calming. It was easy to get lost watching the way nature ebbed and flowed. I tossed a rock in the center of the thick, green film. It created a small hole, but the water kept moving. It didn’t stop or change course. The hole would fill in, and everything would carry on as if I had never destroyed the smooth even layer on top.
If only human pain and sorrow was so flexible. My thoughts drifted to Professor Dunlap—Ian. The hole created by the deaths of his wife and daughter was slowly closing. I hoped I could get to that point a lot faster than he had. Four years was too long. The hole in my life was still gaping. Everything I did seemed to lead to thoughts of Talia.
My stomach grumbled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten this morning. Or last night for that matter. I stood, brushed off my butt, and started the walk back to my car. It was a quick drive into town, and I wanted to try something new. After my coffee date with Ian, I had this weird feeling, like I got a new lease on life somehow. I wanted to experience new things and squeeze every last drop out of life. I had to do enough living for me and Talia both.