He nodded, taking the papers and quickly thumbing through them. He visibly flinched when he came across one that was particularly bad.
“You’re always going to have one or two in the bunch. Don’t take it personally,” I assured him.
His eyes met mine, holding them for several long seconds. “But I do.”
“In that case, I’m sorry, but really, some of these kids are in here because they were basically forced to go to school. Focus on the students who want to be here and want to learn from you. Screw the rest,” I said, waving a hand.
When he smiled, I stepped back. It had been unexpected. He was a very good-looking man. The smile gave me a small glimpse of the man he really was under the armor of pain and grief he wore. At that moment, I made it my mis
sion to bring that man out from behind the walls he had constructed. The world has need of him.
Chapter Five
Ian
Still sprawled out on my queen-sized bed, I tried to muster the energy to get up. My first week back at work was proving to be far more difficult than I imagined. No, I knew it would be rough, but had talked myself into doing it anyway. Now, I was paying the price. I’d been down this road before. It was depression, an adversary that could sneak up on a person and consume them if they weren’t careful.
The idea of getting out of bed, showering and driving the short distance to the college was overwhelming. To me, it felt like climbing Mount Everest. I was trying to rationalize calling in sick. Tess, or was it Tessa? Didn’t matter. She could handle one class, right? My bed was my safe haven. I didn’t want to leave for one measly class.
My self-pity was interrupted when a giant ball of white fluff landed on my chest.
“Get off, Dexter,” I scolded the cat. “You’re not going to starve, I promise. You could stand to lose a few pounds anyway.”
The cat glared at me but didn’t move.
“Fine,” I said grumbling and pushing the cat off my chest. “I’ll get up. I want you to know that I really hate you. You are only here because I promised to always take care of you. A promise I regret a little more every damn day.”
Ally, my little girl, had wanted the cat and my wife, Miriam, had caved and gotten it for her third birthday. My breath hitched at the memory of Ally opening the box with the white kitten inside. She had screamed in excitement, scaring the poor little kitten. Miriam loved cats. I did not. Now, after their deaths, I was the one stuck feeding the thing, emptying the litter box, and putting up with his sadly unfortunate sense of timing.
I dumped some food into Dexter’s bowl in the kitchen and found my way into the bathroom. The cat was a pain in the ass, but days like today I was actually grateful for it. Dexter dragged me out of bed on days I would be happy to stay under the covers.
After a quick shower, I felt better, more alive and ready to tackle the day. The thought of being in the classroom gave me the little burst of energy I needed. That and seeing my assistant. I stepped outside and looked up at the sky. Dark clouds were on the horizon. That explained the gloom I was feeling. I lived in Florida and thrived on the sunshine.
The drive to campus was short. I started walking towards the building when the clouds opened up and poured water from above. I put my face down and ran for the shelter of the building, knowing I was close.
“Ouch!” a woman’s voice screeched, a second after I slammed into something stationary.
Moments after the impact, I saw a woman sprawled on the ground in front of me. It only took me a brief second to realize it was my assistant. Crap! I hadn’t been paying attention and nearly took out the one person helping me keep it together.
“Sorry, Tess. I didn’t see you. Probably because I was staring at the ground,” I muttered, reaching a hand out to help her up.
“It’s Tessa, and it’s okay. I’m fine. Minor bump. Don’t worry about it,” she said, standing and stepping inside the building to make room for me. “I shouldn’t have been standing there. It is a doorway,” she joked.
She reached down and picked up the papers that were scattered around the hall. I quickly dropped back down to help pick up the mess I had created.
“I was trying to get out of the rain,” I said, trying to explain why I’d plowed into her. I felt like a complete buffoon.
“It feels good,” she said, catching me off guard.
“What?” I stammered.
She giggled. “The rain. If I didn’t have to be in your class, I would stand outside and soak it in.”
“Really?” I asked, completely perplexed. “You want to stand in the rain?”
She nodded vigorously, “I love it. I love the way it smells, the way it makes you feel alive. At least the first part of a rainstorm. Then you get wet and soggy and that is kind of a bummer, but it’s been dry for weeks. I love that first rain shower. Everything feels clean and new again.”
I turned to look back through the small window in the door and then back to her. “Want to be a few minutes late to class?”