“I used to think you did,” I said, shaking my head. “But how can you love someone and just screw them over the way you did? And with my best friend? Even Kayla picked up on the fact that you left with Dale, and I tried to shield her as much as I could from everything going on.”
“I’m trying to make it right,” she said. “It would be so good for Kayla for us to be a family again. You can’t deny that.”
“I don’t know,” I said, taking in a deep breath.
I was completely torn, sitting in that chair, staring over at Christina, who had done it again, made a grand entrance and weaseled her way back into my head. I didn’t want to be with her in any way. I wanted Alissa. But I couldn’t sit there and deny the fact that it would be good for Kayla to have her mother back under the same roof. How was I supposed to just pick up all of that hatred, anger, and broken trust and sweep it under the rug? I knew that if I made that decision, it would strictly be for Kayla, and I would never trust Christina again. I also knew if I made that decision, it would be the end of Alissa and me, and that was almost too heartbreaking to think about. I loved Alissa with all of my heart, and we made such an amazing team with Kayla by our side. Still, I couldn’t lie and say that if it were Kayla’s decision, she would pick Alissa. I knew better than that.
“Look, it’s late,” I said, rubbing my face with my hands. “I can’t have this conversation anymore tonight with you. It’s just going to go in circles. I need some time to think about all of this. Where are you staying?”
“I don’t have a place right now,” she said. “I thought maybe I could stay in the guest room.”
“No.” I chuckled. “That would be incredibly confusing for Kayla in the morning. She doesn’t need any more confusion, and I don’t want to give her the wrong idea. I’ll call the Weston and get you a room for a few days until we can figure all of this out. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can go from there.”
“That is more than fair,” she said, standing up and grabbing her purse. “Thank you again for hearing me out. I really hope that we can reach a good place with all of this, but I know it will take some time.”
“I haven’t said yes to anything,” I said, opening the door and watching her walk out.
I shut the door and leaned against it, realizing that I was just put in the hardest spot I had ever been in. I had to decide between my happiness and the happiness of my little girl, and it was not simple in any way at all. I wasn’t ready to give up on Alissa. I loved her too much.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Alissa
What a damn Fourth of July. It had started out so perfectly, and now, I was walking into my house, listening to the fireworks going off around me, and wondering what the hell had just happened. I went straight inside and jumped in the shower, trying to calm my aching heart. It was almost too much to bear, thinking about the fact that I just left Ryan’s ex-wife alone with him in the house, and after she made her intentions very clear. Being jealous wasn’t going to help anything, though, and the last thing I wanted to do was get in the middle of that. When I got out of the shower, Ryan was calling, so I took a deep breath and answered.
“Hey,” I said kindly. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m so sorry that all of that happened with you there. The last thing I wanted was for our Fourth to be ruined by Christina. The fireworks sucked without you by my side.”
“I know,” I replied. “But I couldn’t stay there with that situation. It was too much.”
“I understand,” he said with sadness in his voice.
“Did you two talk?”
“Yeah,” he groaned. “I don’t know what to think about anything anymore. I don’t love her, you have to know that, but she has now put me in another impossible situation with my little girl. I am the bad guy to Kayla if I don’t agree to this, and I am the bad guy to you if I do.”
“You need to take me out of the equation,” I said. “You can’t make a decision on your and Kayla’s future based on your feelings for me.”
“Why can’t I?” he asked angrily. “You were my future until an hour ago.”
“Look,” I said. “Stop worrying about making any immediate decisions. This is on your time, not hers. Text me tomorrow, and try to get some sleep.”
“All right,” he said. “Have sweet dreams.”
“You too,” I replied, hanging up the phone.
When I was done in the bathroom, I went back to the kitchen, made a hot cup of tea, and called my sister, needing someone to talk to. When I heard her voice, I wanted to burst into tears, but I knew that wouldn’t solve anything. She was still awake, just getting home from watching the fireworks with Mom.
“You’re home?” she asked, surprised. “I figured you would crash at Ryan’s.”
“Yeah, well, it’s kind of hard to when your boyfriend’s ex-wife shows up at the house, begging for another chance,” I said bitterly.
“Wait, what? Christina came there?”
“Yeah, right before the fireworks.” I sighed. “And she wants to come back home.”
“Oh, God, Alissa, I’m so sorry,” she gasped. “I mean, Ryan put her in her place, right?”