I was still there when Kayla came home, and she looked at me and half-smiled as I poured her some juice and got her a snack. She thanked me and made her way up to her room, leaving us alone again in the kitchen. Ryan finished bookmarking several things that he thought would be great in the house and sighed, stretching his arms over his head and smiling.
“This is fun.” He laughed.
“I think so,” I said with a smile. “I was thinking, maybe we shouldn’t wait on talking to Kayla about her room. That way, I have time to really make it as special as I can.”
“I agree,” he said. “She should definitely have input, and the more time we have to find her style, the better. That way if nothing else, she loves her room and can feel comfortable in it. She spends most of her time there these days.”
“Well, hopefully when the whole house is done, it will bring her out of her space, and she can be happy anywhere in the house,” I replied.
We walked together toward the stairs, and he let me go ahead of him. I could feel his eyes on me as I moved up the stairs, and I found that I really liked that feeling. That feeling of knowing that someone is desiring you, that someone is finding you attractive in ways you don’t even feel about yourself. I knew that I had done it to him more than a handful of times, but with the tides turned, it was extremely arousing. I pushed the thought from my mind as we made our way down the hall to Kayla’s room. Ryan knocked and walked inside, and I followed behind him. He sat down next to her on the bed, and I looked around the room.
“So,” he said, looking at Kayla. “I hired Alissa to redecorate the whole house to give us a fresh start. We thought that it was really important that you give us your input on how you want your room to be. I want you to feel at home, and I want you to start brightening up a bit. This is your house and my house now, and it can be anything we want it to be.”
“She’s the decorator with all the plans,” Kayla snipped, nodding toward me. “She is going to do whatever anyway, so what’s the point?”
“That’s not true, Kayla,” I said, stepping forward. “I want your room to be yours. I value your opinion very much. You are already a very talented decorator, and I think if we put our minds together, we could come up with a really amazing room for you.”
“All right,” Kayla sighed. “Tell me what you think.”
“No,” I replied. “Tell me what you think. I want to know what you envision.”
“Well,” she said, standing up. “I have given this quite a bit of thought, actually. I want to get rid of all the baby stuff, including the dresser and bed. I’d really like to have a queen-sized bed with posts, like the one in Dad’s room. I’d like to have a dresser and then start hanging a lot of my stuff in the closet. I would like to see cubby holes for my notes and drawings, a desk for drawing, and then a computer desk for homework and stuff.”
“I like that,” I responded. “What about colors?”
“I like dark blue, and I like pink,” she said. “Maybe the walls could be dark blue.”
“Well, if you do the walls dark blue, the room is going to look a lot smaller,” I replied, trying to steer her away from the cave she was building. “What we could do is do a neutral color on the walls and accent that with different colored square cubby shelves. Those can be attached right over your desks so you can store things in there but not take a bunch of your floor space up. Then you could do a bedspread on your bed that has those colors in it. Maybe like a blue and pink paisley print. We have lots of ones you can look at and choose from.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding.
“And, if it’s okay with your dad, since he is getting all new furniture in his room, you could take his furniture. It would reuse the existing stuff but be exactly what you described. We could even take your closet out a few more feet and make a small walk-in for you.” I opened the closet door. “Then you would have all the space you could ever want for your stuff. We could put in a set of speakers so you could listen to your music, too.”
“Wow,” she said in amazement. “I really like that idea. Dad?”
“I’m perfectly fine with that.” He smiled.
“Yes,” she said excitedly. “What about pictures?”
“What were you thinking?”
“Well, there is one painting downstairs that I would really like to have, and then I was thinking of pictures I’ve taken with my phone, framed like a collage,” she explained, holding up her hands to the walls. “Like all framed and hung properly but easy to get to so I can change them out whenever I want to.”
“That sounds like a great idea,” I said, picturing what she was talking about.
I stood back and watched as Kayla excitedly walked around the room, her imagination taking shape around her. She was really pretty good at this decorating stuff, and I was impressed that I didn’t have to talk her down from a pink tutu room. She was only 7, and I could tell she wanted to be older, but I could also tell that she wanted a space where she could read, write, draw, and all the things she was so passionate about but had let go since her mother left. It made me feel optimistic thinking that this new space could inspire her to start moving forward instead of standing still like her and her father had been doing for months now.
It was the first time that Kayla had actually warmed up to me, and I really liked it. She had stayed at an arm’s length since I met her, keeping her guard up because I wasn’t her mother. I tried to understand how she must be feeling, and there were moments as a kid that I just wanted to be around my father, but she looked like her excitement and passion had opened up a small window of opportunity for her and me to begin building some sort of relationship. What that relationship was going to be, I didn’t know, but at that point, I would have taken any type of relationship with her.
I looked over at Ryan, who was leaned against the doorframe, smiling as he watched Kayla prance around the room. He looked really happy about how Kayla had opened up, and I was relieved that he was willing to let her have that furniture. It was important that she kept the good parts of her mother close to her. I knew that throwing them away with the rest wouldn’t solve anything for her. She continued on for another few minutes and then decided that she was going to get on her computer and plan it out on her new software system.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said to her as she walked over to her bed. “You can show me your workup, and we can go online and start ordering everything for your new room. Does that sound good?”
“Yes,” she said excitedly.
I went to turn but stopped as Kayla jumped up off the bed and ran over to me, pausing for a moment before throwing her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. I ran my hand over her head and leaned down, hugging her back. The warmth in my chest was almost too much, and I had to hold back tears that were pulling at the corners of my eyes.
It wasn’t the fact that she was opening up to me. It was the fact that I was getting to see Kayla act like a normal 7-year-old for the first time ever. She seemed like she was carefree and worry-free for several moments, which was exactly what she should be. I was so glad that I could make this little girl smile in the midst of all the drama and heartache that she was going through. This job was personal to me, but it was also the best one that I had ever taken. I was changing people’s lives through my skills, and they were two people that I desperately cared about.