For the first time since I got to the States, Mom asked me what I wanted instead of telling me. I knew it was hard for her to do that; I sensed she had the urge to tell me what to do but held her tongue. I appreciated that, though I knew it was temporary.
“If I run into Gina anywhere, what am I supposed to say?”
“Should you call Noah and work out the logistics?”
“I suppose, but not today. I’m giving him the weekend to cool off.”
“So, say you get another job and Gina sees you at the park with another kid…” Mom trailed off.
“Oh, Mom, I didn’t think of that. She’ll be heartbroken.”
“Unless you and Noah come up with a story.”
“I’m not sure what story would make any sense to Gina as to why I left so suddenly. Especially because everything was going so well.”
“And he’s not going to tell her he was in love with you. Because that wouldn’t make any sense.”
“He wasn’t in love with me. And you’re right, that wouldn’t make sense.”
“You’re a bit blind if you didn’t see it.”
“If he was so in love with me, then he wouldn’t have fired me. It was just a fling.”
“This was what I was worried about, love,” she said.
“I know. This all got so screwed up.”
“Do you want to hear what I think you should do?”
“It took you long enough,” I said.
Mom laughed on the other end of the phone. And I missed that sound already. “I was hoping you’d work it out on your own, but it looks like you need a push.”
“What is your idea?” I asked, even though I knew what she was going to say.
“Love, I think it’s time for you to come back down here. At least for a little while. There are plenty of open jobs down here, and I believe that you need to get some space.”
As much as I fought her in the past about coming down there, this was the first time it sounded like a good idea. And going down there last week made me miss being there even more.
“That’s a lot of space,” I said.
“It will keep you from wondering what they’re doing and the good possibility of running into them.”
She was completely right. Noah wouldn’t come back to Australia any time soon. His job was too important for that.
“I think that might be for the best,” I said.
Chapter Thirty-One
Noah
On Friday, I tried to be better tempered toward Gina as she came to work with me again. Allison had been apologetic about being sick the day before, but I knew her dedication to the company. When she arrived at work, she retained a stuffed nose and had barely concealed the bags under her eyes, so I knew she hadn’t faked the illness.
Though when she asked if she could care for Gina while I worked, I politely refused. Mostly because I wanted her to catch up on the work she missed, and partly because I didn’t want Gina to be exposed to whatever had ailed Allison. The last thing I needed was a sick kid and no nanny. Or, even worse, Gina getting me sick and having to take another day off. I knew I wouldn’t have one of those in a long time. I saw the consequences of that and didn’t want to risk it again.
Instead, I instructed Allison to contact the former nannies who were up for the job before Jess strode into our lives. To make the process quicker, I had Allison put out an ad on a reputable caregiver website as well. I didn’t like the idea of that and wished that we could find someone through a personal referral, as this person would care for the love of my life. But we had no other options at this point. I needed someone as soon as possible. It wasn’t as if I could ask Jess if she knew anyone. I’d burned that bridge due to my overreaction to her talking about Gina’s feelings.
Brandon mirrored Jess’s thoughts, and I knew from the moment I’d spoken with him that I’d fucked up. I thought about going to Jess and apologizing, but I’d said some pretty nasty things to her. Though I knew she loved Gina, after pushing our relationship to one of a more sexual nature, I knew it would be awkward if she came back and for us to be strictly at a professional working level.