I had known that he would, of course, but after last Saturday, I had allowed myself to believe what he’d said. Believed that he wasn’t going to get bored of me. That maybe he felt something, too.
He hadn’t only stayed the night, but had woken me in the early hours of the morning with an erection that meant business. Twice. He’d whispered about how he hadn’t gone bareback with a girl in years, and then proceeded to whisper all kinds of sweet nothings to me in the pre-dawn hours.
In the morning, we’d cooked breakfast together, bantering back and forth like an old married couple before he finally had to go.
We’d texted almost the whole of the previous Sunday, ending it with a phone call so hot that my sex still clenched when I thought about it. We had made plans for Monday night as he was headed to the gym that morning.
After that, things changed. He changed. First, he called to tell that he couldn’t make it to our dinner, citing that “something had come up.”
There were pictures of him in the entertainment section of the paper on Tuesday morning, apparently taken at some club the night before with the infamous Ryder. At least I finally had a face to put to the name.
I had expected him to call when he finally returned to the land of the living. He didn’t. He returned one of the texts on Tuesday night, saying that he’d been busy with the team.
No shit. I didn’t tell him that I’d seen the pictures. Or how deeply it had cut me.
He didn’t call or text on Wednesday, so I didn’t either. I’d received a text from him the night before with a picture of a parachute. No words.
Apparently, he’d gone skydiving without me. Not that I’d had any intention of joining him on that particular adventure; heights were the one thing that scared me. I just didn’t know what to make of it.
Heather clamored around the kitchen, singing along off-tune to some new Ed Sheeran song as she made our coffees.
“Need any help?” I offered. I had to get out of my head.
“I’m done. Since when do either of us need help making coffee?” She set my steaming mug on the table, wrapped her long fingers around hers, and settled on the couch beside me.
“Ugh, since never. I just offered so that I would have something to focus on.”
She stayed quiet as her eyes swept my face, a worried look setting in. “What aren’t you telling me? You’ve been so quiet all week.”
“I thought you’d appreciate the quiet.” She still didn’t know who I’d been seeing, and I didn’t want to talk about James anyway.
“I don’t. I mean, I would. If it were a ‘we’re studying’ quiet, but this isn’t that. Talk to me, friend. How are things with the relationship?” She was ridiculously intuitive. Although, maybe it was obvious. I didn’t know anymore.
“It was never a relationship really.” Even though I’d found myself wishing that it was on more than one occasion.
“Okay, but you know who I’m talking about. How’re things going there?”
I knew exactly who she was talking about, but James was kind of a sore subject.
Then I remembered wishing that I’d talked to Heather more about not taking the bar exam, and everything just came tumbling out. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know. I don’t think that it’s going well, though.”
“Why not? You seem really into him.” She wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t ready to say it out loud.
“He’s just gotten really distant this week, you know? Last weekend everything was great. Perfect, really. Then he canceled our plans Monday night, and I’ve hardly heard from him since.”
“Maybe you should go see him? Find out what’s going on?” She blew on her coffee and took a large sip.
“I don’t want to do that. I think that maybe he’s gotten what he wanted from our so-called relationship. I’m not the needy girl who’s going to go pushing his boundaries.” My heart broke a little as I said the words, but I meant every last one.
“If that is true and he has gotten what he wanted, the least he could do is to tell you that himself, instead of leaving you hanging like a coward would.” I bristled at Heather calling James a coward. He might be many things, but he wasn’t that. Heather, of course, didn’t know that.
“He’s not a coward, Heather. He’s the furthest thing from it.” God knew why I felt the need to defend him.
Especially given that he had left me hanging, essentially taking the coward’s way out, if that was what he was doing. The evidence sure pointed that way.
“Well, then he should man up and tell you to your face so that you can be done with him. Move on to bigger and better things.”
Bigger and better things might have been out there, but bigger and better men? I wasn’t convinced.