Libby caught my arm. "No, it wasn't gross at all. I had lost my ID and Ford came to help me. I could feel his eyes on me as I bent over and checked the lost and found basket. Then all I had to do was get close enough and he couldn't resist."
I threw my hands in front of me and back up two steps. "You are making all of that up. You just want the attention, so you tell these stories that no one can prove are true."
"Oh, it's true," Libby laughed. "I once took a selfie of us in one of our favorite dark corners. You know the little alcove near the campus radio station? No one goes back there and there's a decent sofa there."
"Please, you've probably been there with half a dozen guys. According to the stories you tell about yourself, half the campus is drooling over you and just waiting for their chance to come again," I said, though the words made me feel sick.
Libby tossed her blonde ponytail. "I'm not going to deny I enjoy the reputation I've got. Why not? It's the modern era and women are allowed to have sex too, you know."
"That doesn't mean that every girl wants to or should," I said. I took a deep, calming breath. "Some women want more. More intimacy, more connection, more satisfactions than a series of one-night stands."
"Oh, who says it was just one night with the fantastic Mr. Ford?" Libby asked. "He wanted me so badly he kept running into me. Before class, after class, in the cafeteria, all over campus."
"Yeah, it sounds like you had a really deep connection." I stepped around Libby again.
Now Libby looked disgusted. "We dated. It was much more than just a silly kiss under a tree."
"Then why are you so jealous of one kiss?" I countered.
"Who says I'm jealous?" Libby narrowed her eyes. "I got everything I wanted from Ford."
"Obviously not," I said. "He just used you and now you walk around mad that you didn't come out on top."
"Oh, I came on top," Libby snarled. "Besides, princess, hasn't it ever occurred to you that Ford is using you?"
"The difference is I'm not going to let him."
She shook her head with a mean smile. "He already has used you. Do you think he took you under his wing because he loves you? He wanted to befriend your father and gain the influence of the dean."
I faltered. "Why would he need my father's influence?"
"To save his job." Libby sauntered away with a dainty wave over her shoulder.
The conversation rattled around in my head until I was sure the unnecessary jabs and jealousies were gone. It came down to two claims: that Ford had slept with a student two years ago, and that he was only interested in me to ingratiate himself to my father.
I dragged my feet on the way to his class. How could I stand to verify either claim? Libby's bragging wasn't evidence but she had planted a seed of doubt in my head.
"Hello, class," Ford said.
My stomach buzzed with the same happy excitement, despite the turmoil in my head. Just being near him ignited me like a handful of fireworks and my body wouldn't listen to reason.
I stamped down my feelings. Now it didn't matter if he was innocent or exactly what Libby described. The fact was that Ford Bauer was not for me and the sooner I let it go, the better. As painful as it was, I had to admit that everything else had been silly fantasy on my part. I could never pursue anything real with Ford and I had to let him go.
The first half of class, it was easy to keep my head down. Ford lectured on writing to a specific audience and I took diligent notes. Then he opened it up to questions and discussions and I was forced to look up from my notebook.
"How do we research our audience?" Michelle asked. The third-year brunette blushed as Ford complimented her question. As he started into the answer, Michelle watched him with a rapt smile.
So, I wasn't the only one that was affected by Professor Bauer. My stomach boiled. When Ford smiled at the next female student, my anger spilled over and I slammed my binder closed.
"Everything alright, Clarity?" Ford asked.
The rest of the lecture hall turned to me with curious glances and my cheeks flared bright red. "Sorry, I'm fine."
I will be, I promised myself. I will get over my disappointment.
That was all it was: disappointment. I wanted Ford to be my knight in shining armor. I wanted a man with as sharp a moral compass as myself and the drive to bring the truth to light. Now it felt as if neither of those things could be possibly true of Ford.
I waited until the end of class, then leapt from my seat. I climbed over students still packing up and was almost to the end of the row when my classmate, Dan, spilled a soda. The frothing bottle whirled around on the floor and sprayed everyone within a two-foot radius. I turned around and edged back the way I came.