“Yeah, I don’t think she was really remembering the whole twin sister thing when I was talking to her,” Danna says. “After that, I’m thinking about taking up a career in acting, to be honest with you. It was one hell of a performance. I really had her going.”
“But you told her that you were just joking, right?” I ask.
Danna doesn’t answer.
“You told her that you’re my sister, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, I was planning to get around to that, but the way she just stormed off, I never had a chance,” she says.
“What the hell is your problem?” I ask. “Things have already been strained with Emma and me. We really didn’t need this right now.”
“Well, maybe you’ll think about that the next time you go off on me for trying to find things that might actually help me get better,” she says.
Now, this I can’t believe.
“What is your problem?” I ask her. “I tell you that stuff that hasn’t worked for you in the past hasn’t worked for you in the past and you use that as an excuse to try and fuck with my relationship—the first relationship I’ve really even had since Jamie.”
“This isn’t about that,” Danna says. “I’m sure Emma’s a very nice girl.”
I pull out my phone. “I want you to call her,” I tell Danna. “I’ll put in the number, but I want you to explain that you’re my sister and that you were just playing a practical joke on her and then I want you to apologize.”
“You can want whatever you like,” Danna says, “but that don’t mean it’s gonna happen.”
“Why do you have to make everything more complicated?” I ask her. “Whenever you come across something that’s working or something that people are trying to make work, you’ve just got to shit on it?”
“I don’t do that,” she says. “I played one stupid joke and you’re freaking out about it.”
“It’s not just one stupid joke,” I tell her. “I am so sick of these little moods you get in when you’re miffed at me.”
“Miffed?” she asks. “Who are you, my third grade English teacher?”
“Danna, I really didn’t need this right now,” I tell her.
“Mrs. Porter!” Danna announces. “That was her name.”
“Yeah,” I tell her, “I know. I was in your class. I want you to apologize and I want you to mean it. Then,” I tell her, “I want you to offer t
o take her to dinner to show her that you’re really sorry.”
“And what, pray tell, are you going to do if I don’t?” she asks.
“First off, will you grow up?” I ask. “Second off, I’m starting to think that maybe you living here is going to be a bad idea.”
“You’re going to kick me out if I don’t apologize to your girlfriend?” she asks.
“Danna, there are things I can help you with and things that I can’t help you with. You’re recovering from your last episode and I think now just might be a good time for us to start looking for a place for you to keep as your own,” I tell her.
Would I really kick my sister out of my house?
I know I wouldn’t do it for screwing with Emma, although I am pretty pissed about that.
If anything, I think I’m just trying to get her to pull her head out of her ass and start listening to me.
Phone in hand, I pull up Emma’s number and I press the call button.
I hand the phone to Danna and says, “Be nice.”
Danna rolls her eyes at me.