“I don’t know where you’re getting that from,” I tell him, “but I always took my responsibilities seriously when it came to your daughter and the baby.”
Ed laughs. “We’re never going to make any progress here because we don’t know the same language. Sure, what you’re speaking sounds like what I’m speaking, but apparently, you do not understand a damn word that I’m saying. Now, I’m old, I’m sick, and I’m tired. If I ask nicely, do you think you could find it in your heart to get the hell out of my room?”
Sure, Ed. I can do that.
I turn and walk out the door.
Yeah, I’d hoped for things to go differently, but I didn’t expect it. I have a pretty solid memory, and in every single memory I have where Ed and I were in the same room, if we were talking to each other, we were talking down to each other.
“Damian, wait,” Penelope calls behind me.
I’m almost to the elevator, but I turn and wait for her to catch up to me.
“I can’t talk to him, Penelope,” I tell her. “I’ve tried. Look, I’m sorry he’s sick, I really am, but I don’t think that’s going to change a decade of him hating me.”
“I know things didn’t go so well,” she says, “but you’ve got to promise me that you’ll try again.”
“I already have tried again. I’ve tried dozens of times over the years to find some sort of inroad with him, but to Ed, I’m always going to be the guy that not only tried to take his daughter away from him, but the guy who actually succeeded in every possible sense,” I tell her.
She bites her lip and I’m feeling a little guilty.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I said that in the heat of the moment, but you know that’s what he thinks of me. We’re not going to work through that in a couple of hospital visits.”
“Then keep trying until he’s dead,” Penelope says. “The way things are looking, that shouldn’t be too far off, anyway, so if you’d just put forth that small investment, you’d make an old woman very happy. I can’t defend the way he talks to you. It’s not fair what happened to Jamie and it’s not fair that he’s been making it harder on you all these years, but I know both of you so well and I love you both so much—I’m sure that if the two of you could just get past your differences for even a few minutes, you’d find that you’re a lot more alike than either of you would ever admit.”
“Penelope,” I tell her, “you know I’d do anything for you, but I don’t see the point in this. He’s always going to hate me. I don’t know what else there is to say on the topic. That’s just how it is and how it always has been.”
“Please,” she says. “I don’t have that many people left in my life, and I’d hate for two of them to lose their last chance to make peace.”
“Penelope, if you really need me to do this, I’ll do what I can, but I can’t promise next time’s going to be any better than this time,” I tell her.
“I really need you to do this,” she says. “Jamie never got to see the two of you make up or even have a pleasant conversation. I think it’s something he’d be excited to tell her about, though, when he…”
As far as low blows go, that one was pretty far below th
e beltline, but I am a man of my word. I’m willing to put myself through a little hell for a few days or maybe a few weeks to take some of the stress off of Penelope, but I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.
For what he’s said to me since Jamie’s death, Ed Morgan is the worst person I have ever met in my life. I get that he was pissed off and scared and gutted, but that didn’t give him the right to tell me that I’m the reason she’s dead.
The asshole future-father-in-law thing was irritating, but it was endurable. Attacking me after I’d just suffered the greatest injury I’m likely to suffer, though, and never letting up, never apologizing or even acknowledging that maybe he’d gone too far, even one time—that’s what’s unforgivable.
“I told you,” I say, “if it’s that important to you, I’ll come back, but I can’t promise anything.”
“I understand,” she says. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I tell her, and pull her into my arms. “You’re nothing but trouble for me, you know that?” I ask.
“I know,” she says. “It’s what moms do.”
“All right,” I tell her. “I’ve got to get to work, but give me a call if you need anything, okay?”
“I will,” she says, and we part ways.
It astounds me that a woman like Penelope, so sweet and nurturing, one of those people that just treats you like you’re someone special, even if you’re only meeting for the first time, could be married to a hateful, resentful man like Ed. That’s the way it usually goes, though.
Still, I had hoped that maybe things would be different this time, but that’s what addicts call not playing the tape through to the end.
I get off the elevator and am walking back to my car when my phone rings again.