“Obviously not,” she said. “You’ve had a stalker, you’ve got a guy whose parents are trying to arrange a marriage, you’ve got guy from the gym who’s getting you a job at his company because he has a secret crush on you, and then you’ve got . . . Ian. I don’t even know what to say about him.”
“He’s the one that I really felt like I had the connection with, though,” I said. “Out of all of them. And Billy and Jonathan are both so nice. Well, Billy is. I didn’t tell you the other part of what Jonathan told me.”
Caroline’s eyes widened. “What?”
“There was a leak with one of Hard Tail’s bigger clients, this banker whose brother and niece, I think it was, are famous actors, and it got out. It was supposed to be kept quiet so there wouldn’t be a bunch of media there, but the information got out and it was kind of a huge disaster, even though everything ended up working out. And Jonathan told me that it was him. He was the one who had done it.”
“Why? Why would he do that? He works there too.”
“He was pissed at Ian.”
“Wow,” she said. “This apparently goes deeper than I thought. So . . . how did you leave it with him?”
“I eventually told him that he needed to go because I didn’t know what to say. And I still don’t really know what to say about this whole thing. Part of me just wants to pack up what little shit I have and move somewhere like Seattle or something.”
“I’d miss you,” Caroline said. “But I would totally support you doing something like that. And I’ve always wanted to visit Seattle!”
Our waitress came over with our plates then, and I leaned back as she slid it in front of me.
“Thanks,” I said.
She smiled. She was older than us, probably in her mid-forties, her curly brown hair streaked with gray. “Now, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she said, “but it sounds like you’ve got men interested in you left and right, honey. Believe it or not—when I was your age, I used to have the same problem. It can be flattering at first, but eventually, it gets tiresome. You love any of these men?”
“No,” I said. I thought of Ian. “Maybe.”
“Any of them love you?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you love one of these men—and especially if one of them loves you back—that’s not something to be ignored. I ignored it, and I missed out. Biggest regret of my life.” She patted my shoulder. “Enjoy your meal, honey.”
“Is that ‘maybe’ in reference to Ian?” Caroline asked skeptically.
“Yes,” I said. “But maybe it’s not love; I don’t know. Maybe it’s just lust or sexual chemistry.”
“You do seem pretty hung up on him,” she said.
I spread the pat of butter across the waffle and then drenched it with syrup. “He broke up with me because he felt like he had to, not because he wanted to. I don’t know if I would’ve done the same thing in his position, but there is a part of me that at least wants to talk to him again.”
Caroline nodded. “Maybe you should,” she said reluctantly.
I waited until later that day, and then I texted him. I told him that I wanted to talk, and he said he’d come by because he wasn’t too far from my place. I had thought that he’d refuse altogether, but I took it as a good sign that he seemed willing.
“I know what you did,” I said when he got there. I didn’t bother with any small talk; I wanted him to know that I knew everything that had happened. “I know that Seamus told you to stop seeing me because he wanted me to date his son.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I happened to be down at Failte the other night when Billy was there, for his birthday. And his parents were with him, and the whole story just sort of came out.”
“Oh.”
“Why would you do that?” I asked him. “Why would you stop seeing me all of the sudden, just because he told you to?”
His eyes were downcast, and he seemed to be struggling to come up with the correct thing to say. “I’d like to tell you that it’s something I don’t want to talk about ever, and just leave it at that,” he said. “Which I suppose I could. But I also want to be honest with you, because I think you deserve that.”
“Did he threaten to stop being a client? Isn’t that extortion or something?”
“Seamus obviously cares about his son, and is willing to do some things that maybe other parents wouldn’t,” Ian said. “And no, I don’t want to lose him as a client. But it’s more than that, really. My stepfather used to kick the shit out of me when I was younger. Seamus was the one who eventually put an end to that, which I didn’t realize until recently, when he told me. So in a way, I feel like I owe him this debt, even though I had no idea that I’d incurred it in the first place.”