“You are?” He sounded surprised. It was already quite warm, but he was wearing a blue sweatshirt, zipped all the way up. “I thought you weren’t working there anymore?”
“How do you know that?”
He gave me a sheepish look. “Well . . . I might have called there looking for you. You haven’t been answering my calls! Or responding to my texts! Have you been getting them?”
I’d blocked him, so, no, I hadn’t. “I’ve . . . I’ve been having phone issues,” I said, and immediately wished I hadn’t. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just tell him to fuck off? Why was there still some part of me that was worried about hurting his feelings?
“Oh,” he said, looking relieved. “Yeah. Phones can be a real pain in the ass when they don’t want to work, can’t they? It’s all fine and dandy when they ARE working, but when they’re not, boy . . .” He was talking too fast, like he thought if he stopped then I would use that as an excuse to get in my car and leave.
“Listen, Noah,” I said. “I’ve really got to get going. I don’t want to be late, and . . . I’ve just got to go. I don’t really know why you’re here right now, anyway.”
“I was just in the neighborhood,” he said, a defensive note in his voice. “Just taking a walk. That’s allowed, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is.” And I felt a sliver of doubt creep in—had I been imagining all this stuff? Was he really just out taking a walk, and we’d happened to run into each other? That sort of thing happened all the time. “I wasn’t trying to say that you couldn’t go out and take a walk. I just . . . I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that I don’t think we should hang out. I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s a good idea if you keep calling me.”
It came out in a jumbled rush, but I felt better once I’d said it. That hadn’t been so bad, had it? I’d always had a hard time sticking up for myself.
“But why not?” Noah asked, a perplexed look on his face. “Didn’t you have a good time? I did. I had a really great time. I had a better time with you than I ever had with anyone else. I mean that. And you know what else is funny? I knew that it was going to be like that. I knew from the first time I saw you—going into spin class, remember?—I knew that we were going to have this really amazing connection. A genuine connection. Not the superficial sort of crap that some people think passes for a relationship. And getting that smoothie with you, that just proved to me that I’d been right.” He beamed. It was as if he was reliving the happiest moment of his entire life. And then I realized: he was. Or at least, in his mind, he was, despite the fact that the entire time had been totally awkward.
But then another thought occurred to me: What if that really was the best time he’d ever had on a date? I was no dating expert, for sure, but even I knew that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. If it was, who would bother to go out on dates in the first place?
“And look,” he said, nodding at my shoes. I looked down at my feet.
“What?”
He pinched the front of his sweatshirt. “We’re matching! Those shoes of yours are the exact same color as my sweatshirt. I’ve never met anyone who’s had shoes that same color, and this is my favorite sweatshirt, so it’s something I’d notice.”
I smiled weakly. “Gee, that’s really something.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I’ve really got to get going,” I said.
“Where’s your new job?”
I pretended I didn’t hear him and got into my car. He went around and stood on the sidewalk, directing me as I tried to navigate my way out; the person behind me had parked way too close. I tried to ignore Noah in the side view mirror, but it was impossible because I needed to look in the mirror to make sure that I wasn’t going to clip the car. The thing was, I’d never been good at parallel parking, and I ended up watching his hand signals to help me get out of the spot.
“Thanks,” I said, putting the window down a little bit. I knew it would be better not to even acknowledge him, but he had helped me, and my good manners wouldn’t allow me to leave without saying something.
He grinned. “Don’t even mention it! Glad I could be here to help. I’ll call you!” he yelled as I drove off. Only when he was a tiny speck in my rearview mirror did I let out a sigh of relief.
But my relief was short-lived because then I stopped to get coffee. I went back and forth over whether or not I should get Ian a coffee, too. On one hand, he probably had already gotten himself one (or three,
he seemed like the type who probably consumed many caffeinated beverages), or he had a coffee maker there or something. I tried to recall if I had seen one when I’d been on the interview, but I’d been too nervous to really take in any of my surroundings. And if I didn’t bring coffee, and he hadn’t had one, it would look rude. I stood there in line, the cashier staring at me, waiting for my reply to his question of: “Is that all?” as the line behind me grew longer. So I got a second one, even though the second I had the hot cup in my hand, I knew that he’d already have a coffee of his own.
But whatever. I could save the second coffee to drink later (although if I did I’d be super jittery—one big cup like this was about all I could handle). Or I could just dump it down the drain, which would be wasteful, but . . .
I shook my head as I walked into the building, trying to clear my mind of these ridiculous, pinballing thoughts. I just needed to focus on doing a good job, and showing Ian that he hadn’t made a mistake in giving me a chance. I still couldn’t be sure why he had changed his mind, but I wasn’t going to question it. And I certainly didn’t want to make him question it.
So I walked into the office, clutching the two cups of coffee, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. You can handle this, I told myself. This is nothing that you haven’t done before.
He was standing right there, though, leaning against someone’s desk, talking to a guy I didn’t recognize. He looked gorgeous, was my first thought, which made me blush. The last thing I needed was to get some stupid crush on my new boss, just because he happened to be the best-looking man I could ever remember seeing. Not that it mattered if I liked him anyway; guys like him didn’t go for girls like me.
“They’ll be there this weekend,” the guy was saying to Ian, “so we’ll have to make sure we’ve got a few extra guys on.”
Ian nodded, his gaze flickering over to me. “Billionaire tech guy from Dubai; of course we’re going to have a lot of tourists on that one; I don’t care how quiet Seamus wants to try to keep it. Thanks, Dan.”
Ian clapped him on the shoulder, and Dan turned to leave, walking past me.