I put in my headphones to block out any catcalls and followed her down the street. L.A. was crowded, as it always was. I both loved and hated living amongst all the people. Sometimes it was inspiring and energizing, but other times I found it downright draining, overwhelming, and exhausting. L.A. definitely hadn't been my first choice in living destinations.
I’d come out with Grace long ago when she landed her first job as an actress, but the difference between her and I was that I didn’t have to stay like she did. Nothing was holding me to this place. I could go anywhere I wanted, in theory at least. Why I hadn’t, I wasn’t sure. Maybe I’d just gotten comfortable staying in L.A. with my best friend, or maybe I was a little too scared of change. The thought of striking out on my own into unknown territory was more than a little intimidating.
I had also thought I could do more with my music by being in L.A., but, so far, everything I tried in that regard had proved fruitless. And what was more, passing all the billboards as we ran most days didn’t do much for my ego in that department. They were usually filled with new bands or singers being promoted because they’d managed to strike gold and get signed on with a label, unlike me. Their smiling success was a constant mockery of my constant failure. Today was no exception.
We came to an intersection, and the walk signal flashed, so Grace and I went to go. As we did, a horn blared, and Grace grabbed my arm, tugging me out of the way just quick enough to avoid both of us getting hit by some asshole in a convertible.
“Hey! We have the right of way, jerk wad!” I shouted after the car, tugging off my headphones. Both Grace and I frowned at each other, continuing across the street.
“Sometimes I really hate it out here,” she grumbled, breathing heavily as she jogged. “There really are so many entitled, arrogant assholes in this part of the country.”
“Yeah, some of these people really get to me. And, the place itself gets to me at times, as well, I hate to say.”
“You know, I’m stuck out here, but you’re not,” Grace said, as if she’d been reading my mind. “You don't have anything chaining you to this place. No job, no boyfriend, no family. You could be anywhere you want to be.”
“I know,” I admitted as I jogged next to her. “Trust me, it's something that's been on my mind a lot. Especially on days like this.”
“Maybe you should go somewhere else. At least, for a bit. You know, give some other place a try while you still have the freedom to do that.”
“You want me to leave? Trying to get rid of me for your one-night stands?” I asked her with a hint of laugh.
“Yep, that’s it,” she fired back. “No, but seriously, Nalia. I know you want to travel and see the world. Maybe it’s about time you do that. You're only young and free once. Me, I'm living out my dream, kind of at least, even if it means I have to be here. But you, you're not.
“So, maybe you should look for a job that travels some. And, let's keep our fingers crossed because that job you put in for will help some if you get it. Touring the country with a crazy-ass, mega-famous rock band would totally be your kind of thing.”
I laughed. “That’s a big if, you know. And, it’s hard to travel the world with no money and not much of an education.”
“Whatever! There's no need to be so pessimistic about this. Remember, where there is a will, there is a way,” Grace said. “Come on, I should be proof of that. You remember how many things I auditioned for before I finally caught a break? I mean, there were weeks, months even, when it seemed I'd have to pack my bags and leave this town with my tail between my legs and try go back to the real world to find some kinda office job or something.
“But I persisted, and I never gave up. And sure enough, I caught my break in the end. And, I'm sure that you’ll catch your break, too; you just have to keep pushing at it.”
“I know, I know. It just feels like I’m pushing a lot, and the world is just pushing me right back. Only a lot harder,” I said.
“Nalia, you’re talented, beautiful, and smart. I have no doubt that eventually, things will fall into place for you if you keep going.”
“Well, maybe if I don’t find a job by the end of the week, I’ll start looking for a new adventure, maybe another way to get my music out there. I mean, I have to, right? I can't keep going on like this. Something's gotta change, and I have to instigate that change.”
“That’s the spirit,” she smiled at me, wiping sweat from her forehead. “We should go out tonight to celebrate whatever new adventure of yours lies ahead.”
“You just want to go out again and find a handsome boy to toy with, don’t you?” I teased.
“Maybe. But hey, dancing is a good exercise, too!” she shot back, jogging faster. I followed, trying to catch up to her.
Chapter Seven
Owen
I groaned as I opened yet another file, this one a contract that needed review. I loved owning my own record company, but hated dealing with all the paperwork and the admin work that came with it. I’d already looked through so many documents in the past six hours that I felt like I would go cross-eyed.
My favorite part of owning the company was helping produce the actual music, forgetting about the paperwork, just turning out good albums and helping other artists succeed at their dreams. That was what made the blood pump faster through my veins—not reviewing damn contracts.
I wasn’t sure why I’d avoided getting Bleeding Heart back together as long as I had, but I was thanking God we were about to go back on tour. And I couldn't deny that I was wishing I’d have already given more of the paperwork load to my second in command at the record label, instead of waiting until a week before we hit the road. This shit really wasn't what I wanted to be focusing my energy on.
I closed the document, needing to give both my eyes and my brain a break. I strolled around my office, looking at my shelves, decorated with various items of Bleeding Heart memorabilia. There were tons of pictures from the road, awards, tour posters, and even a couple of framed records hanging on a wall.
Why the hell we ever stopped, I wasn’t sure. I knew part of it was because I was focused on starting the record company, but maybe I should have kept the band up, too. I wondered where we would be now if I’d done so.
Still, it wasn't good to dwell on things that would have been or could have been. After all, the past was the past, and it's not as if we can go back and change things.