“We don’t have to talk. You don’t have to give me a chance, but please let me take you home. I need to know you’re safe. Please.” It was a long walk home and looking longer by the minute the more I sobered up.
But I couldn’t do it. “What do you care? You can’t play nurse and fix this, Lexa. My bad, Alexandra. Alexandra Patterson.”
“I’m still Lexa, Aiden. The same person-”
I slammed my hands down on her car door and leaned in the window. “Don’t give me that shit. You lied to me about who you were. I don’t even know you.” Seeing her flinch away from me put me in check. “You need to leave. Before I do or say something I’ll regret.” I stepped back, but she stayed put.
“I’m not leaving unless you let me drive you home. And then I promise, I’ll leave you alone, and you never have to talk to me again.”
I scratched my head and decided she could take me to the liquor store. A ride wouldn’t hurt anything, and maybe part of me wasn’t ready to let her go — a very small part,
that was fading fast.
I growled and grabbed the handle and opened the door. “Take me up the street.”
“Thank you.” I didn’t want her thanks or her approval. I needed her to take me to a gas station so I could grab a case of beer to get me through the night. She pulled in, and I got out before the car came to a complete stop. “I’ll wait here.”
Whatever. I went inside and took my time, but I kept an eye on her, realizing we were still in a shitty part of town. She’d put herself in a car alone in the fucking worst part of town to wait for me. She had to have been outside the whole time, and no telling how long she’d waited for me to come out.
It’s not because she cares. She’s still playing her game. I wouldn’t let myself believe differently.
I went back out and got in the car, and she pulled out without saying a word. It wasn’t until we were halfway to my house that she tried to make conversation.
“I hope we can talk later, maybe when you’ve sobered up?” I could feel her eyes on me, but I wasn’t about to glance in her direction. Peripheral vision was quite enough.
I’d never had anyone hurt me the way she had, but I wasn’t about to waste my breath telling her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t blame you. I knew all along you’d hate me in the end. That’s why I couldn’t tell you. I wanted to, so badly. I knew I should. It just kept getting harder and harder the more I fell for you. I wish I had-”
“But you didn’t.”
She pulled into my road and was quiet all the way until she stopped in my drive. “For what it’s worth, Aiden, I’m sorry. Being with you was everything to me, and I wanted to fix things so many times, but I was too scared. The longer it went on, the harder it was.”
“You didn’t just lie to me once, dammit. You lied over and over, every fucking day.” My voice grew louder and louder. “You had more than enough chances to own up. You deliberately kept your identity from me. Well, your little game is over, and your parents have enough of my money that you should be comfortable for a long time.”
“Aiden.” Her hand touched my arm, and I snatched it away and turned and grabbed her face in my hands. She turned her cheek into my touch, closing her eyes as if I was caressing her, but my hands pressed tight, squeezing with just enough pressure that her eyes widened. I leaned in close so she’d feel my breath on her face and hoped she’d remember that moment.
“Don’t you ever come near me again, do you hear me? Never.” Her lip trembled as a tear trailed down her cheek. “Stop your fucking crying and answer me.”
“I won’t come back.”
“Promise me.” I clenched my hands harder against her.
“I promise.” Her voice broke and then she added. “I’m sorry.”
I leaned closer, a breath away from a kiss and she turned her head as if she wanted to meet my lips. “You’re a fucking liar.” I pushed her away, and her head fell to the steering wheel as she sobbed, but I had grabbed my beer from the floorboard, slammed the car door, and was in my house before she could say anything else to me. I fell back against the door and collapsed to the floor screaming to the top of my lungs. “FUCK!”
All at once the pain came back as the numbness from the alcohol was gone. I ripped open the case and popped another top to drown my sorrows.
It had killed me to look into her eyes, to hold her with such force and scare the living shit out of her, but it was a necessary evil. I had to kill it. I had to destroy it before it bred into an even more fucked up relationship where I loathed her more than I loved her. How could I ever look into her beautiful face and believe a word from her pretty lips? I’d been a fool for her once, and shame on her for using me.
But I’d be damned and broken in the pits of hell before I let her put me through anything else like that ever again.
By the time I drank my way through the night, I had vowed that I’d wake up with better focus in the days to come. I’d chalk this nightmare up as a lesson learned and move on with my life. I’d practice law on my own, away from Layne and any semblance of what my father wanted for me.
I was going to do things my way, with no one to hold me back, especially not Lexa Fucking Patterson.
Chapter Thirty-Two