“I’m freaking you out, aren’t I? I mean, I do want more, but I want you to want it, too. So much I’m determined to get what I want or fight my hardest.” His expression was sincere, and his brows rose like he was offering me a challenge. He had no idea. And when he learned the truth, his rejection would only be magnified by his kindness now.
I couldn’t find the words to tell him and the last thing I wanted was to end the pleasure for a heavy discussion, so I urged him back inside of me and hissed out in pleasure as his cock pressed its way back into my already tender channel. There was always a readjusting to him, but it was getting easier each time we fucked. We were getting too comfortable, too deep, and I was in over my head.
I gave in to the pleasure, but I couldn’t stop the nagging at the back of my mind. It was like a movie playing out to the end, when he learned of my lies and who I was.
It didn’t stop my orgasms, though, which he coaxed forth with precision like a master in control. His orgasm came with a growl, and it was so sexy a sound that I found room for one more of my own before we collapsed in a puddle of our making, spent and fed.
I expected him to pull me away to the shower, but instead, he curled against me, cradling me in his arms and pulled the covers up around my shoulders after he planted a soft kiss there. “Stay the night.” The words hung in the air a moment as I kept hearing them echo in my mind.
I contemplated how I could get out of it and if I wanted to get out of it. But I didn’t. I selfishly didn’t want the time to end. He’d know my secret soon enough, and this would be all over. I yawned and snuggled closer, pressing my ass against him. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Unless you have to be at work early or something?”
“No, I have the day off.” I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d been sent home or why. No need to explain that head fuck to him. I owed him much more. I lay there thinking of ways to tell him my secret and came up short when I’d consider his reaction. There was no redeeming from this.
As I lay there, going back and forth on how nice it was to be in his arms and to hear his steady breathing and feel it against my neck, his phone beeped. He pulled away from me, letting a chill slide down my back. I turned over to snuggle against his side and feel the tight bulge of his pecs as he checked it to see what the notification was about.
He frowned and tossed the phone on the table so hard I wondered if something broke. “There’s nothing I hate more than a bunch of greedy leeches. Well, maybe a liar. I hate liars, too, but this family… God, I’d like to get through one fucking day without having to worry about this stupid lawsuit.”
He turned and faced me as I lay there frozen and brushed my messy hair from my face. “You’re the only thing that makes this shit better. Thanks for staying with me.” He closed his eyes and buried his face against me as I lay there dying inside.
Something on the phone must have reminded him of what was going on in life. Perhaps he had seen a text from his lawyer, there was no way to know, but I knew one thing: I’d rather be someone else. I’d rather be Lexa Lively than Alexandra Patterson, so I could be the person he needed me to be for him. The one to make it all go away and stay away, even after it was settled. I hated that as good as I was making things for him, I was going to make them terrible to the same degree.
Eventually, I was going to hurt him or anger him, and he would hate me. I hate liars. Who didn’t? I hated myself.
I was a liar. And what scared me most was that I wasn’t lying about how I felt. The feelings I had for him were all too real and intense, but it wouldn’t matter. In the end, he wasn’t in love with me. He didn’t even know who I was, so how could he be?
As I lay there drifting off to sleep, his words echoed in my head: I hate liars, I hate liars, I hate liars.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Aiden
Waking up with Lexa in my arms had done something to change my mood, and even though it had been over a day ago and she was gone to work, I’d woke up smiling again. She was monopolizing my thoughts. Considering my problems, that was a good thing.
I dipped my rag in the suds and brought the dripping thing over the top of my sister’s car. I’d decided it had sat too long looking like no one had driven it since the police had it towed back home from the airport. Ally would want it shining.
She’d been a regular at the detailing place downtown, and I remember teasing her that those men were interested in her more than the car. She’d winked and let me know she had her eye on one in particular herself. She’d always liked to shock me, and I’d warned her I’d go down there and crack skulls if it ended badly. A few weeks later, she came around with Shawn, and my worries of her slumming were over.
I’d washed my mom’s car before Ally’s and decided to make a full morning of it and hit the Rolls and Shelby next. I hated to look at the Rolls knowing it would be the first to go if those assholes got their way, and I wasn’t about to let anything bring me down.
The sun was shining, and the even the birds were singing at The Olde House, which was beginning to look like its old self. The gardener I’d hired, Pete Jr., had gotten the place looking as spectacular as the last time my mother had seen it. It made me feel better knowing she’d be proud, and I vowed all over again that I wouldn’t let anything happen to my home.
As I was finishing the rinse on the Mustang, my phone rang. Even though I saw it was Layne, I didn’t let that get me down.
“Hello, Layne. What’s the news?” There could only be one reason he’d call, and it was the lawsuit, so I continued rinsing as we talked.
“You’re not going to like it, but you’re going to have to go before the judge a week from Monday. The Pattersons are still playing hardball, so this is the way it is. They aren’t interested in any deal.”
“Okay, I’ll be there.” I didn’t have more to say, and I didn’t think it would do any good to get angry and spoil my mood.
“Is that it? You’re not going to bite my head off about it and tell me you’re not going?” I could hear the ice rattling in glass through the phone and imagined him sitting on his lanai sipping bourbons with his mistress while his old lady was away visiting her mother. That was the usual way of things with him, and now he’d decided he wanted to get cocky with me?
“Disappointed? I could fire you if it would make you feel better. But then who would pay for your mistress’ condo?”
His voice lowered to a whisper and footsteps told me he was seeking privacy. “I’m not seeing Alicia anymore, thank you. I’ve been trying to repair my marriage.” He let out a breath that seemed more like frustration than a need to exhale. “Just be there.” His end of the line went dead, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I tucked my phone back into my shirt pocket.
“Good morning, Mr. Walker.” The voice came from behind me, and I turned to find Pete Jr. on the lawn holding a garden hoe.