he smile held in place. “Thanks for being honest with me. That’s all I wanted to know.” She stared into her petite hands, thinking about something, obviously.
“Now what about you? I guess once you get back you will forget all about me or will you still go through with your original plans?” Lilly couldn’t leave me hanging. I had to know how she thought about us.
“My turn to be honest now? I am not going to have the surgery. Spending this time with you was what I needed to…well, feel sexy again. I guess although cosmetic surgery is right for some, I don’t really need it—however, when I’m forty and things start to hang, I might reconsider that decision. Or if I have kids someday.” I could hardly contain myself. She was making the right decision—her body was flawless already. “About you and I, that’s tougher. I know all about your past, well some of it anyway. Enough to know you haven’t been living like a monk. I get that. You are handsome, successful and goodness knows you are skilled at lovemaking.” I grinned some more. “I guess if there were ever a Bullet and Lilly type-relationship, I would make room for it but you would be like a wrecking ball in my peaceful life. I’ve got my symphony friends, my sporting club, Kate…adding a Bullet Steinmann would definitely change things. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“Oh, that’s pretty honest.” That was not the answer I expected. I thought for sure she’d want to continue our association after our time together was over. I wanted to but it sounded like she didn’t. What the hell was that about?
“I’ve already dated someone a lot like you, Bullet. Evan was gorgeous, smart, the top of his class and—unfortunately, he had a way with the ladies. No one could tell him no, ever. I thought we were in a monogamous relationship but it turns out I was wrong, completely wrong. I’m not saying you are just like Evan but then again you might be. Do you think that after all these years of being single you could be a one-woman man?”
I felt insulted at being compared to her punk-ass, ex-boyfriend. I was a world-renowned surgeon with plenty of money and play toys. How the hell could she compare me to a typical college guy who wanted to score as much action as he could? As far I knew, he wasn’t a doctor. Now I was being judged by his actions. That seemed totally screwed up. “I don’t think we were talking about getting married, Lilly.” I laughed angrily. I grabbed my backpack and left the tent. I felt played, like she played me on purpose. I offered her my honest feelings and she spun it back on me. How was I anything like her college sweetheart? Well, screw her too!
“Wait! Where are you going? I thought you wanted honesty?” She followed me out of the tent tucking her shirt into her jeans and putting on her jacket.
“No, that was you, Lilly. I don’t give a damn about being honest. How can you compare me to some college kid? I’m a damn doctor with eight years of medical school and wall of awards. I’m not some horny teenager.”
She put her hands up as if to say calm down. “Whoa! That’s not what I said and that’s not what I meant. I just meant….” I waited for an explanation but I got tired of her dithering.
What the hell? Let it roll off your back, Bullet. She’s just another girl who got what she wanted. She probably did not even want that surgery to begin with, she just wanted to use you, make a trophy out of you. She probably gets some sick satisfaction at seeing you crawl after her. I forced a fake grin on my face but I didn’t feel any of it. “You know what? It’s okay. Let’s pack our stuff and head back to the cabin. I owe you a tour of the town.” I stormed off to carry some items to the bottom, leaving her behind. I hoped a bear ate her.
In a few minutes she showed up with a cooler and a backpack. She was ready for a fight. “I don’t know what the hell you are mad about. I didn’t lose it when you told me you weren’t sure you could fit me into your ‘real’ world. So it’s okay for you to reject me but I can’t? You’ve got one heck of an ego, Dr. Steinmann.” She threw the stuff on the boat and walked back to the campsite. Okay, she had a point but I was still wounded. The drive across the lake was quiet, we didn’t talk, despite the incredible sex we had. Maybe it was only incredible for me. I tried not to think about her sweet pinkness, her toned bottom and her golden skin. Damn her, anyway.
We unloaded the items and both of us parted ways for showers, packing and changing clothing. I figured we’d go to town, be back by three and be back home by tonight. That was the plan. I couldn’t stay here forever, despite what I might want. I was right, wasn’t I? Life had to continue. How could I tell her that I had hookups, so much baggage to deal with, I didn’t know how to fix it? How could I tell her that my clients expect me to have sex with them, it’s like a perk they get when they use my services. Yeah, that was too much honesty. She’d never understand that. I could see her walking away in the middle of that conversation. Miss Goody Two-Shoes would never understand that.
I blasted the hot water and tried my best to wash away all traces of Lilly Brightwood from my body and my brain. Once I got back home, this was going to be it. No more Lilly for me. I was cutting her off cold turkey. Better I do it than her, right?
Chapter Eleven
Lilly
Bullet Steinmann was a heartache waiting to happen and I did not want it to happen to me. The problem was it was too late. Despite all of my self-talk and pretended caution, I had a soft spot for the sexy doctor. I had made my case to him, explaining to him how he would not fit into my world, just like he tried to tell me I would not fit in his. Boy, did that tick him off! I was pretty sure Bullet did not know what he wanted — me or something else, or maybe someone else. There was no telling if Bullet was already seeing someone or several someones. I got the feeling that he was confused about me and as flattering as that was, I did not want to be with an uncertain man. I wanted whoever I hooked up with to know they wanted to be with me.
Bullet made it sound as if he would have to change his entire life just to accommodate my presence. That was so unflattering, so cruel of him to say. What did he mean by that? That if his friends saw me they would think he would be settling for something less than what he could have? Did that mean that he thought he was settling? I guess this weekend and the few extra days were really nothing more than a sexy escape from reality for him. Well screw him! I did my best to think about things while I got dressed. I purposefully turned my thoughts to school, symphony and life after Bullet. I did have one of those, right? I heard him tapping on my door and walked over to answer it. I cracked it; I was still in my underwear but I did not want him to come in. No way was I letting that sex machine in here with me right now even though I secretly wished he would step right in.
“Almost ready?”
“Yes, I am. Give me fifteen minutes.”
“I will meet you downstairs in the kitchen. Bring your bags with you. We will drive to the airport after we leave town.”
Was I supposed to cry about that? “I’ll be there.” I closed the door and scrambled around for my clothing. I wore the same sheath dress that I wore here; it made me feel pretty. Anyways, I felt like dressing up—it was always a morale booster. I wanted him to know what he would be missing. I slid my feet into my mules and checked the bathroom for any items I may have left behind. True to my word, fifteen minutes later I was standing in the kitchen with Bullet, listening to him call his housekeeper. It was official — we were leaving. I put my game face on and pretended to be happy about it.
As Bullet stuffed the bags in the trunk, I gave one last look at the cabin. It had been a nice getaway spot; I envied this little place. Maybe I should look into getting a home, if my orchestra position falls through. I still didn’t know but as I was about to graduate, I needed to figure that out. It was nice to have so much room and be able to enjoy amenities like a fireplace and a spacious kitchen. Those were things I would miss and I didn’t even know it. At least until now.
We drove the short distance to the ferry. I rolled down my window and enjoyed the country air for a little while. Right on time, the ferry docked, and we waited for the boat to be secured then drove onto the deck. There was one other car; I recognized the couple from the campsite but they didn’t attempt to socialize. They hung out in their car, windows steamy, music playing. I felt a little jealous but the distance between Bullet and I might as well have been a mile wide. I couldn’t believe that we had shared so much in such a short amount of time. I also couldn’t believe we were leaving like strangers.
“Want to stand on the deck? We can get a better view from there. I know it’s a short trip from here to the opposite shore but I like the open water.” He put the keys in his pocket, always so careful about the details.
“Sounds great.” I followed him to the railing and we watched the cabin get smaller. I had mixed feelings about this weekend but I had to admit right now I was just plain sad. “I hope your extended stay didn’t inconvenience your clients.”
He leaned against the railing his sunglasses in his hand. I had a thing for crisp white shirts and he looked gorgeous in the one he was wearing. The startling white set off his tanned skin, dark hair and playful blue eyes. Oh girl—stop day dreaming! It’s over, remember?
“Not at all. It was my pleasure. I am sure Page isn’t happy with me but as I remind her frequently, she works for me. It’s not the other way around.”
“Oh, I see. Do you have personnel problems often?” What I really wanted to ask was, “Did you sleep with her too?” Of course, I was too much of a lady to ask that question.
“Not really, but she likes continuity. She’s been with me right from the beginning, well almost.” After a few minutes of not speaking, I spotted the approaching shore. I began to feel anxious about leaving. Would he forget all about me? Probably but what could I do about it? Fall at his feet and beg him not to leave me? Hell no! I wasn’t the begging type. We strolled back to the car and waited for the ferry to dock. Bullet paid the toll and we drove onto the highway headed to Blue Lake.
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