I pulled away suddenly and saw confusion written on his face.
“Not now, Jet,” I said.
“What's wrong?”
I just shook my head. “Nothing. Is that all you needed, then?” I smiled before looking down at my feet when I spoke, knowing that my cheeks were flushed.
There was a moment of silence before he said, “I guess.” There was a certain sadness in his voice that I couldn't quite understand. I really just couldn't comprehend what I had that he wanted.
I looked up to watch him slowly walk away. He faced me at first, and then turned his back to me and walked down the sidewalk. I watched him until he disappeared, more confused than I had been the entire night.
I walked up the steps of my building and slowly unlocked the door. I trotted back up the five flights of stairs, and exhausted, I practically fell into my apartment. I slipped silently back into my room and bed, making sure not to wake Julie again. Although I was exhausted, and should have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, I didn't. Instead, I lay there, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, and thought about that kiss. I thought about that kiss for hours.
Chapter Ten
Jet
There weren't many cabs in that particular area; most circled the downtown area to pick up the drunks, even on weeknights. There was always someone out having a good time. Never Natalie, though, she wouldn't know a good time if it hit her in the face. I could not figure that girl out if my life depended on it.
I had walked a block from Natalie's house before I saw a cab make a turn on the street I was on, and I stuck my hand down to flag it. The driver saw me and slowed until he pulled up right in front of me. I wasn't in the mood for chit chat, so I opened the side door of the van and climbed into the back. I gave the driver my address and he pulled away from the curb.
To avoid idle talk, I leaned my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. He probably assumed I was drunk, and would just leave me alone. On the entire drive home, all I thought about was Natalie. Was I wasting my time with that girl? She just wouldn't give in, not even a little bit. I hadn’t gone there with the intention of sleeping with her, but I wouldn't have turned it down. A kiss for sure, yes; a lot of kissing was definitely on my mind. But in the end I had hoped that she would warm up to me.
It had seemed like she really enjoyed the kiss. In fact, she had kissed me back. It had been intense, seductive, and God yes, arousing. Her lips, the taste of her, were like a drug, and I was hooked. I wanted more. I would have kissed those lips alone all night long, and still been satisfied. But she had once again thrown me for a loop. She had separated from the kiss, and looked like she even regretted it. I couldn't figure out why she kept pushing me away. Most girls knew my reputation, and they still came back for more; why was Natalie so different? And how could she not know by now that I thought of her differently? I most definitely wouldn't have continued trying so hard with her if I just wanted to sleep with her and toss her aside. There were plenty of other girls I could seek out at this point if that was all I wanted.
Why had she pulled away and sent me off like a dog with his tail between his legs? It had been marginally humiliating, and although I probably should have confronted her, all I could do was walk away to avoid further rejection. The girl had my nuts by a sling, and I couldn't seem to get them back. What could I have done at that point? I didn't know, but I was starting to wonder if I should consider bailing on her, the project, the pursuit, everything, because she was starting to drive me half mad.
I rubbed my eyes hard, frustration building up in me. I didn't want to let her go, but I knew I might have to, because there was a strong possibility that Natalie would never warm up to me, despite her lingering mouth on mine.
The cab pulled up to my apartment, and I sat up straight in my seat. I dug deep into my pocket for some bills. I handed him a twenty and a five, and told him to keep the change. He thanked me as I pushed open the van door and stepped out. I closed the door behind me and headed to my apartment door. What a night.
I opened the door to my apartment and walked inside to find my roommate on the couch drinking beers again. Kyle couldn't seem to curb his drinking, despite being on the MMA team. Some people just didn't have the discipline. He was young; he might grow up eventually, but right now partying was one of his priorities.
“Hey man, where ya been? Did you find that girl of yours? Was she primed and ready for you?” He laughed as he said those things to me. I just stared at him at first, unsure of what to say. I made the mistake of telling Kyle after my fight that I was going to go hook up with Natalie. I certainly thought I would have, in one form or another, and if not, then at least get her warmed up enough to go out on a date with me.
The last thing I wanted to have to do is tell Kyle that I had struck out. In his eyes, Natalie should have been an easy lay. If I couldn't get her to sleep with me, he would find it hilarious and it would spread like wildfire, and I would feel humiliation among all my teammates. I was a big shot amongst my friends, and although the embarrassing fact that I couldn't get her in bed wouldn't
last long, it would sting long enough for my friends to begin to look at me in a new light, and I couldn't have that.
“Yeah, I found her.”
“Sick. What happened, man? Did you finally slay the dragon?”
I started laughing. I couldn't believe Kyle sometimes. “I don't know about that, but I got exactly what I wanted.”
“Did you fuck her?”
I paused, hating myself for saying it, but it's not like she would ever find out, “Yeah, I fucked her twice. She liked it so much that she asked for seconds.”
“Ohhhhh, you're the man! That's awesome. Was she any good?”
“Yeah, she was Grade A, man, a pretty good lay.”
“Did she try to get you to spend the night? I hate when they ask that. I just want to pump them and then get the hell out of there. Move on, ya know?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. After I banged her into the headboard twice she wanted to cuddle, and I'm like, naw, I gotta go, baby. But maybe next time.”
“Next time!” He burst out laughing.