Seth sighed hugely. “When you lose someone… anyone… it’s hard to count anything as a victory.”
“You’re right… sorry… I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”
“No,” Seth said, swinging his legs down and stretching a little. “I know that’s not what you meant. So… done for the day?”
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Ok, consider yourself signed out,” Seth nodded. “I’ll write the time down when I find the roster.”
“Ok,” I said hesitantly.
“Is there anything else?” Seth asked.
“No… I just…”
“Yeah?”
“I wanted to know if you mentioned my offer to Zoey… about the apartment,” I asked.
“I mentioned it to her,” Seth said, without letting anything away. “It’s up to her… she’ll consider it.”
“Great…”
“Goodbye, Devlin.”
“Right,” I nodded, recognizing the dismissal. “Goodbye.”
I headed out of the station and started the walk back to the apartment. It was going to be my last few weeks here, and I was sadder than I expected to be. It had to do with all those memories of Zoey that I’d accumulated over the last few months. She was in every inch of that apartment now, and even though it had been difficult for me living with her memory, it was still preferable to living without it. I had been dying to call her and speak to her for the last few days, but I didn’t want to overstep.
I knew she deserved better than me, so what did it say if I ignored that and pushed myself back into her life again? I couldn’t afford to be that selfish again… especially if I loved her, and I did love her, more than anything or anyone else in the world. If having me out of her life were what she wanted, then I would follow through, no matter how hard it was on me.
I walked up the stairs and turned the corner and froze in place as I realized that Zoey was standing outside the door. She hadn’t noticed me yet. It was obvious she wasn’t sure if she should be here or not. I felt my heart beat unevenly as I walked up to her.
“Hi, you,” I said softly.
Despite how softly I spoke she still gave a little start of surprise. “Oh God,” she gasped.
“Sorry.”
“No, no,” Zoey said quickly. “I was just… I thought you were in.”
“I just finished community service at the station,” I told her.
“Oh, right.”
“Seth signed me out.”
“Ok,” she nodded, looking extremely awkward.
“Zoey?”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to come in?” I asked, trying not to spook her. I knew that if I pushed too hard, she would just walk away.
Zoey paused, and I could see that she was contemplating whether she should come in with me or not.
“I won’t bite,” I said.