“It’s ok, darling,” mom said gently, putting her hand on my arm. “I know what’s it’s like to go through a breakup. God knows I’ve had plenty of them. I understand.”
“I’m taking this out on you, and that’s not fair.”
“Like I said, just forget about it.”
I smiled at mom and nodded in gratitude. She may not have been the perfect mother, she may not even be the most traditional mother but she was there for me when I needed her, and that really was all you needed.
“What was it like?” I asked suddenly. “Your first big breakup I mean… with your first serious boyfriend?”
Mom raised her eyebrows and let out a low breath. “Well that would be Seth’s father,” she said. “I was so young… only seventeen when I found out I was pregnant. I had been with his father since we were both fourteen years old and I thought we’d be together forever.”
“Of course that changed the moment he found out I was pregnant. We didn’t even have a breakup… he was just there one day and gone the next. He never even said goodbye. Later I found out that his parents had convinced him to go to college abroad and to forget about me.”
“And Seth,” I added.
Mom nodded. “They felt it was my problem… not their son’s. It took me a long time to get over that though… I really loved Seth’s father.”
“How long?”
“More than a year,” mom admitted.
“A year?”
“He was my first love,” mom explained. “And I was a young single mother who wanted some care and love and… support. For a long time I blamed his parents, but then as I got older, I forced myself to see the truth. They would never have been able to convince him to leave if he had wanted to stay and do the right thing by Seth and me.”
“And with… my father?” I asked.
“That took a shorter time,” mom replied. “I was prepared for that breakup. We had been unhappy for a while, and I think I knew he was going to leave before he actually left. That was hard for me because I had you… and I didn’t know how to explain. But somehow… we managed to get through it, didn’t we?”
“I was young,” I said. “And anyway, he wasn’t that great a father while he was around… I guess I didn’t notice that much when he left. You and Seth really made sure I didn’t feel it.”
Mom smiled. “You don’t have to say that for my benefit,” she said. “I know that Seth was the one who really helped you through that period.”
“You helped too… in your own ways,” I said.
Mom gave me a kiss on the forehead as she headed to the sink to wash her plate. “You’re a good kid, Zo,” she said. “You always have been. But you’re stronger than I am, and you’ll get over this break up soon. Don’t worry.”
“It’s been a month mom,” I said. “And… I still think about him constantly. I love him… and nothing about that love has changed.”
“He was your first,” mom pointed out. “First loves tend to be the hardest to get over. You’ll need to be patient and strong.”
I sighed and leaned back in my seat. “I actually thought about calling him yesterday.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I’m still angry with him,” I said, and then I looked at the clock. “Seth should be home by now.”
“Is there a reason you’re waiting for him?” mom asked shrewdly.
“I… well…”
“Devlin’s starts his community service today, huh?” mom asked.
“Did Seth tell you that?” I asked.
“He didn’t have to,” mom replied. “I guessed.”
“Am I that transparent?”