“How come?”
“How come you’re leaving it?” Seth asked.
“Oh… well, I can’t afford it anymore,” I admitted.
I had lost the job that Seth had got for me… my boss had found out about my arrest, and I had been let go with a polite letter about company rules and restrictions. I had spent the last few days combing the Internet for jobs in the vicinity, but so far, I hadn’t had much luck.
I had only one ray of hope left, and that came in the shape of Gordon Chadwick. He had finally set a date for the exhibition, and he had seemed positively thrilled to learn that I had been arresting for pushing drugs. He somehow thought that bit of information made me more… controversial, interesting… perhaps even dynamic. They were his words, not mine.
“You lost your job,” Seth nodded.
“Yes,” I said.
“What are you going to do now… about money?” Seth asked.
I wondered why he even cared, but then I remembered that he was a decent guy… it was a family trait it seemed.
“I’m going to keep looking for one,” I said. “In the meantime… my paintings are going to be exhibited soon in White Lines Gallery, and I’m hoping to sell a few there. If I do… then it should hold me over for a few months until I find a job.”
“And if you don’t sell any paintings?” Seth asked.
“Well then… I’m screwed,” I said. “I’ll have to go groveling back to my parents and admit to them that I was wrong and they were right. It might mean putting painting behind me once and for all… but if that’s what I gotta do to stay out of jail, then that’s what I have to do.”
Seth nodded. “Well… I’m glad to see you’re trying at least.”
“I am trying,” I said. “I’m going to do better this time. I’m going to be honest… no matter what.”
Seth looked at me shrewdly. “You’re not trying to win back my sister, are you?”
I looked down. “I don’t want to hurt her anymore. And I don’t want to disappoint her anymore. I’m an unemployed, soon-to-be-homeless, former drug dealer with nine months of community service to complete and no immediate prospects… I have nothing to offer her. She deserves better… she deserves someone far better than me. So no… I’m not trying to win her back. I’m just trying to do the right thing here.”
Seth nodded, and he looked a little impressed. I tried not to think too much of that. He was probably not going to tell Zoey any of this anyway… nor should I have wanted him to. I meant it when I said that she deserved better than me.
“Anyway… I better get back to work,” I said to Seth.
“I’ll sign you in,” he nodded.
“Thanks,” I said. “And uh… Seth?”
“Yeah.”
“How is she?” I asked, unable to keep from asking the question.
He paused for a moment. “Her graduation ceremony was this past weekend,” he said.
“I know.”
“It went well.”
“I’m glad.”
“This is obviously a difficult period for her but… she’s doing better every day,” Seth replied.
I was glad. I wanted Zoey to be doing well… but it did come with a pang of sadness. Because I knew that the better she did, the farther away she was moving from me.
34
Zoey