Moments later, Devlin realized that too. He pulled himself to his feet and me with him. “Shit,” he said, as it started coming down a little harder. “We better make a run for it.”
We gathered up the blanket, the untouched wine, and the uneaten sandwiches and started running towards our building. It didn’t matter, we got wet anyway, and by the time we made it into our apartment, we were both drenched and laughing.
“The running definitely helped,” Devlin joked.
I threw the blanket to the floor, and Devlin put the wine and the sandwiches on the nearest surface he could find. Our eyes locked together and I realized at that moment that I wanted him too. This was the moment. This was the night I would lose my virginity.
We rushed to each other, and our bodies hit with the force of our attraction to one another. He peeled the clothes off my body, and I was amazed by how free and uninhibited I felt. Was it because I felt safe with Devlin? It had to be because I could find no other explanation for my sudden confidence.
He pulled off his shirt and pushed off his trousers, and my eyes fell to his erect cock. His penis was larger and impressive, and I felt a little lightheaded immediately. Instinctively, I reached for it and wrapped my hand around his shaft. He gave a groan of pleasure and then reached behind me to undo my bra. He stared down at my breasts, admiring them for a moment and then he placed a hand on each one before leaning down and kissing my nipples with gentle care.
Then he pulled off my panties and just like that, I was naked, and so was he. He pulled me towards him, and we ended up on the carpet in front of the sofa right in the middle of our living room. It felt amazing to lie like that, naked, skin-to-skin and shaking with anticipation.
“Are you alright?” Devlin asked.
“Yes…”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Because if you have any reservations… I can stop.”
I smiled and cupped the side of his face with my hand. “I don’t want you to stop,” I said. “Just… be gentle.”
He kissed me softly on the lips and then he parted my legs gently before slipping inside me. I gasped as I received the full length of him. The fact that I was wet meant that he slid inside me easily and after only a moment of discomfort, I real
ized that my body had suddenly come alive.
So this was what sex was all about. It was primal and instinctive and natural… but it was as much about the union of two minds and souls than it was about the physical act of fucking. I had never felt closer to Devlin than I did just then, and I only wanted to know more of him.
He was very gentle and very tender. He took care of me, and I could tell that the whole time he was inside me, he was trying to make sure I was ok. I ran my hands up and down his back as he pushed in and out of me and I could feel his muscles flex.
“Devlin,” I said, and his name came out like a moan.
“Yes?”
“You don’t have to be so gentle anymore,” I said.
He smiled down at me and then slowly, he started pushing into me harder and harder. And this was better than I had imagined. It was better than slow, tender sex. It was more erotic and passionate and heated. Within minutes we were both sweating, and I felt my body shiver and shake without my control.
I had no idea how to cope with the expanse of emotions I was feeling. So I just clung on to Devlin and let him take me wherever he wanted to go.
23
Devlin
After the first time that Zoey and I slept together, I started feeling different. I didn’t know quite what it was; I just started seeing everything differently. Nothing had changed really, but somehow everything felt different. It was shortly after that I realized what it was.
Love changed the lens through which you viewed the world. The things that used to bother and upset me had less room in my mind. It wasn’t that I stopped caring about them, it was just that I spent less energy being sad and frustrated and bitter about everything. Being in love was like being in a world of your own, where nothing could touch you and the things that annoyed you didn’t annoy you for very long. Because all you had to do was call her or come home to her and everything was better. Just like that.
The last few weeks had been nothing but blissful. We had a great relationship and an easy friendship. We had even started working together. Zoey would work on her music in the living room, and I would paint. Sometimes we wouldn’t talk for hours. It would just be the two of us wrapped up in our own little worlds, but there was still a connection that existed, tied together by our love of creating.
After we wrapped things up, we would end up on the couch together, and we would discuss our work. Zoey always second-guessed her compositions, but she didn’t need to. Her work was always flawless, and I continuously told her so. She did the same for me, and it gave me the confidence I needed to push through with my work even when I thought it was pointless.
“Do you paint to make money?” Zoey asked me one day. “Or do you paint because you love it?”
“Well… I love it.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Zoey said, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
Domestic bliss turned out to be much more than I had ever thought it would be. I felt lighter, more fulfilled and incredibly happy. Being with Zoey made me want to be a better human being… on all fronts and for the first time I started thinking about my contribution to the problems I had with my parents as opposed to blaming them completely for everything.