“Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“I only have them over because they bring drinks and snacks with them.”
I laughed. “So that’s what you’re really after.”
“Yup,” Devlin nodded.
He was so handsome that it made my heart ache. He made other parts of me ache too, and I was distinctly aware of how close he was to me and how easy it would be to kiss him
right now. It was amazing how quickly my will crumbled into nothing, and suddenly I was sick and tired of always being so cautious and so weary of everything and everyone. I just wanted to… live a little.
“What are you thinking right now?” I asked him, taking a beer from his hand.
Devlin smiled. “I was just thinking how beautiful you are.”
I felt a little spasm of excitement burst inside me, and my whole body tingled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Devlin nodded.
“Prove it,” I said.
“What?” Devlin asked, looking a little startled.
“Prove it,” I said, taking a step towards him. “Kiss me.”
19
Devlin
Something was different. Even the party I’d had a few days ago had felt strange somehow. Maybe the vibe of the party had been off, but nothing was different. Maybe I was the one who had changed. When David had called and asked if they could come over to hang out for a bit, I had said ok only because I wanted to see if that would be different too.
It was only a few friends hanging out… the normal casual evening of sitting around, drinking, talking about different topics and maybe smoking a little pot. I still had a stash of pot on me but I had made sure to let my friends know that I was all out. I was pretty sure that Zoey wouldn’t be ok with it and I didn’t want to scare her away again. I had let her know that my friends were coming over and she had seemed fine with it.
Again, it was the same thing all over again. The night took on the same routine as a hundred other nights, but everything that I used to enjoy seemed to fall flat somehow. It was like I was looking for something else and I had to admit to myself that something inside me had changed and maybe I had to face the fact that it had to do with Zoey.
She was polite and sweet when she arrived, but I could see she was tired and unwilling to join us like I had hoped. The moment she excused herself and headed to her room I felt the need to follow her. Suddenly my friends became impositions, and I just wanted to get rid of them.
“So guys,” I said. “It’s getting late…”
Chelsea frowned at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?” she demanded. “It’s barely ten o’clock.”
“You sure you don’t have any pot?” David asked.
“Sold the last of it,” I lied.
“Geez… you know, Devlin, we brought the snacks and the beer. The least you could do is treat us to a little pot.”
“Keep your voice down,” I said, glancing towards Zoey’s door.
“She still doesn’t know you’re dealing?” Trevor asked.
“Please,” Chelsea laughed. “She still thinks he’s a fireman.”
The boys burst out laughing, and I shot them an annoyed glare. “I met her at community service, and I didn’t correct her assumption ok.”
“Hey, I’d have done the same thing,” David nodded. “She’s fucking hot. I’d want to impress her too.”