“How?” I asked.
“I can cut down on the partying,” he promised immediately. “I don’t need my friends coming over every night. I mean… they’re not really close friends, any of them. They just bring music and booze and enough chaos that it drowns out all the stress in my life… at least for a few hours. I can stop the parties.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I don’t want you doing that for me. I’m not asking you to give up anything.”
“I know you’re not,” Devlin said immediately. “I’m offering.”
“I’m not interested in feeling responsible, Devlin,” I said clearly. “I’m not interested in feeling guilty for making you change. Listen… we’re just roommates, and we haven’t even been that for very long. You’ll find someone else.”
“I don’t want another roommate,” Devlin said emphatically. “You and I… we get along so well… don’t we?”
I could see that he was unsure if I felt the same way. He had misread how I felt about these past two weeks, and he was worried he might have done the same thing where our friendship was concerned.
“We get along great,” I told him, and I could see the palpable relief in his face. “And I would love to stay friends, Devlin. I think you’re a great guy and a great artist. But I just don’t see this living situation working out in the long run. Our lifestyles are just too different.”
“But—”
“I understand that I’m springing this on you and you need to make rent, so I’m willing to stay until you find another roommate,” I told him.
“Then why are you packing now?” Devlin asked.
“It’s just a small suitcase,” I explained. “I’m going to stay with my mother for a few days. I really need some peace and quiet to study and focus on my music.”
“You can do that here,” Devlin said.
I cocked my head to the side. “How, Devlin?” I asked. “You’re having a party tonight.”
I saw the hurt wash over his face for a moment, and I hated that it had come to this so fast. I had seen so much potential when I had first moved in. I really had high hopes that this living arrangement would work out.
“I can cancel it.”
“I don’t want you to cancel it,” I said. “You want to have this party; you want to celebrate, then you should. I assume the gallery interview went well?”
Devlin didn’t look happy when he nodded. “I’m going to be exhibited.”
I smiled. “I’m so proud of you. You deserve it, Devlin; I’m so very happy for you.”
Devlin looked down. “Thanks,” he mumbled.
“I’m sorry, Devlin,” I said. “I wish this could have turned out differently.”
I threw the bag I had just packed over my shoulder and made towards the door. As I walked past Devlin, he grabbed me gently by the arm and steered me towards him so that we were facing one another.
“Isn’t there anything I can say to convince you to stay?” he asked.
I felt a shiver race through my body, right down to my toes. He was so very handsome, and my heart stilled a little just looking at him. I wanted to stay here; I wanted to continue to live with him… I wanted a lot of things with Devlin that went against my better judgment, but sometimes being an adult meant making the tough choices, whether you liked it or not.
“No,” I said. “I’m sorry… I think my moving out is the right decision.”
“Where will you go?”
“I’ll stay with my mother or my brother until I can find another place,” I said. “I don’t have a real plan at the moment.”
Devlin nodded with resignation and then before I knew what was happening, he had leaned dow
n and kissed me softly on the lips. It was by far the best first kiss I had ever had. His lips were luscious, firm and tender and I melted into him without even thinking about it. My mind had no control; it was my body that held the reins at that moment.
When he pulled away, I was left feeling dazed and light headed. I just blinked up at him, unsure what to say. He brushed his fingers against my cheek, and I felt that little spark of attraction that I had experienced the first time we had met. It was palpable, and it actually hurt to think about walking away from him, but I knew I had to. I had worked too hard in school to let things slip from my grasp now. I needed to focus, and I couldn’t do that here.