When he’s propelled his hips one last time to bury himself deep, groaning and trembling from the aftermath, his body sags, muscles loosen, and he collapses on top of me.
I laugh as he kisses my cheek, then he slides next to me and brings a hand up to caress the pad of his thumb over the apple of my cheek.
I smile at first, because I really want to be happy about this moment—happy with the fact that we get to spend this time together—but the longer he looks into my eyes, and strokes my cheek, the more I realize that he’s thinking the one thing I’ve been trying not to think about all day.
He’ll be leaving and I’ll still be here.
Miles apart. Visits only on special occasions. Unable to touch or kiss or be together. Only phone calls, and text messages, and Facetimes.
Before I know it, he becomes a blur. I blink and the tears fall, and I lower my gaze to avoid him as much as I can.
“No, Amber.” Torres sits up and brings me up with him. His thumb brushes the stray tears away and I blink, clearing my vision, looking up at him, only to see he’s smiling. “No, baby. Remember what I said,” he murmurs. “This doesn’t change anything. You are mine. Forever mine. We’ll see each other all the time. Trust me.”
“I know. I’m just going to miss you.” I sniffle, dragging the back of my arm over my face.
He’s still smiling that same smile—a smile that’s certain and hopeful and strong. I don’t know how he does it—how he can smile through this. I suppose he’s being strong for both of us.
Reeling me in, he hugs me tight and lays a kiss on my forehead. “I love you,” he whispers.
I nod. More tears slip away. “I love you too. For real.”
I feel him shake with laughter and I smile, then I sigh, wiping my tears away. Picking my head up, I lift both hands and clasp his face in my hands, pressing my lips to his perfect pink lips.
The saltiness of my tears runs over the creases of our mouths, but he doesn’t mind. He returns the kiss, and I feel him smiling behind it, like he wouldn’t dare change anything about this moment.
And neither would I because he is mine.
Forever mine.
After we’ve cleaned ourselves up as best as we can with what little resources Torres has left in his apartment, we order Chinese food, grab some blankets from the U-Haul and spread them out on the middle of the living room floor. I change into a T-shirt of his while he swaps his shorts for sweatpants and hangs out shirtless.
The food arrives and we eat together, swapping noodles and rice, and laughing and teasing one another.
This.
This is what I’ll miss most. These quiet, peaceful, sweet moments with him where he shows me his true self.
But I have to remember that the future holds many more of these kinds of memories, and sometimes a love like ours requires patience and time.
As he wraps his arms around me while we lay on our pallet of blankets and he drops kisses on the back of my neck, I know everything will be all right, so I smile again, and take his hand and give it a tight squeeze.
“Everything will be okay,” he whispers just as I start to drift off to sleep.
Sleepily, I say, “I know.”
FIFTY-FIVE
The rest of my summer isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Most of my time is spent training and Torres keeps his promises about everything. He texts me every single day and if we’re not texting, we’re talking on the phone or on FaceTime, flirting with each other, or telling one another about our days.
I do worry sometimes that maybe he’ll get tired of talking to me, or that he’ll get used to life in Florida and won’t need to speak to me as much, but even as I return to school, and he begins his coaching job for his men’s team, not much really changes.
I work hard at practice, and even harder with my classes and studying. I try and focus on school and running, and it does help time go by faster. Hamilton doesn’t treat me any differently and in fact, with the Triple Threat gone now and no pestering Foster around, being on the team is way better than before.
All the girls have respect for each other, and I’m not treated differently. It helps that more girls of color have been recruited to BU. Hamilton constantly tells me that if I hadn’t joined, the other girls wouldn’t have, but I always tell her it’s because of her that I joined at all.
With the team, I show my respect and they show theirs and it brings our team closer together. Kendall and Janine are still two of my closest friends, but I end up hanging with a lot of the girls when I can.