She nodded, and that was all I needed.
My Kandy wasn’t weak. The Kandy I knew had won every battle she’d gone through. She fought for what she wanted, and I knew she really wanted this baby, no matter how tired she was or how much her body was changing.
Her eyes lit up when she realized she’d hear the heartbeat. That was proof enough that she cared, but her fears were popping up, trying to blow those moments of happiness away.
But that’s what I was here for. I refused to let anything happen to her or my baby.
We were going to get through this. After all we’d been through, we had no choice.
Chapter 12
KANDY
I felt awful that Cane and I were butting heads so much. We were like two rams in an open field sometimes, going head-to-head over the most trivial things. I couldn’t stand it. It wasn’t like us, and I knew most of it was my fault, but sometimes I couldn’t help the way I felt. I couldn’t blame it all on being pregnant, either.
To be honest, I was happy that I could carry a child. I was happy that everything looked okay…but I was terrified of how much my and Cane’s life would change. Especially mine. I would no longer have any privacy or moments to myself. I’d lose sleep, which I hated the idea of, because I loved my sleep. It was precious to me, and I cherished it so much. Not only that, but I still hadn’t told my dad, and I knew the longer I waited, the angrier he would get about it.
I’d been reading a lot of forums to find advice on embracing the whole pregnancy thing, because it was harder than I thought it would be. I couldn’t believe Mom suffered like this, just to have me.
On the flip side, Wednesday had finally arrived.
Cane took me to Dr. Maxine’s office, where I was told to do my usual routine with checking in, peeing in a cup, and so on. Dr. Maxine was a lovely woman. She had skin that reminded me of cocoa, a short buzz cut, and a beautiful French accent that I was so envious of. I’d always wanted an accent.
“Okay, Kandy! You ready to hear that little one?” she asked with a bold, white smile.
“Yes!” I grinned at her before looking at Cane. He was standing at my side, watching every little thing she did with soft features. He looked so childlike. He’d never seen any of this happen, so he was intrigued and more than a little excited. It was all we could talk about on the car ride here.
Dr. Maxine asked me to pull my shirt up and to lower my pants just a bit, and then she applied some warm gel. She got straight to it with her ultrasound wand, running it over my lower abdominal area. “Let’s see. Where are you, little one?” she whispered softly. She kept moving the wand, narrowing her eyes here and there.
I glanced at Cane nervously. Why couldn’t she find the baby? I knew he or she was still there. I could feel it. My heart felt heavy in my chest as she moved to the left, and then she said, “Ah! There is the little bean!”
Relief struck me. Oh, thank God.
She kept the wand in place. “Okay, now let me turn on the sound.” She pressed a button on the keyboard of the computer beside her, and as soon as she did, a soft thumping sound filled the room. She moved the wand a bit more, and the thumping got even louder.
Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.
The heartbeat was so quick, like the baby was running his or her own marathon in there.
“Holy shit. Is that the baby’s heartbeat?” Cane’s voice was winded.
“Yes, it is,” she said, smiling at him. “And it sounds so strong and healthy, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” I cooed. “Oh my gosh, it does!” My eyes welled with tears as I looked at the screen. So there really was someone in there. That little someone was alive, with a beating heart, and I had to protect him or her with everything I had in me.
Cane looked down at me and then leaned forward, cupping the back of my head and kissing my forehead. “You hear that?” His voice was so sweet. So full of joy. “That’s our baby, Kandy.”
“Our baby.” I grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it.
“Things are looking as great as ever, too,” Dr. Maxine went on. Cane leaned back a bit. “I’m happy with what I’m seeing. Have you been keeping your movements to a minimum for now, like I requested?”
“I have,” I said, and Cane cleared his throat, like he was calling bullshit. I gave him a small glare.
“Good. I’d like you to keep it that way, just for the next month or so.” She placed the wand down and then grabbed a warm towel from a drawer under the bed to wipe some of the gel off. “The baby seems to be doing well. Considering that you have gone through a loss before, I do think a calm life is a necessity for the duration of your pregnancy. No major traveling or clubbing—things of that nature. Being in a comfortable, stable environment is best. You mentioned you are in school, correct?”