“I don’t know.” I bubbled out a half-laugh, half-sob as I looked him in the eyes. “I just—I am!”
“Shit…baby. Holy fuck, this changes so much!” He collected me in his arms. “Are you glad?” he asked, stroking my hair back. “Excited?”
“I’m not sure how I feel yet. My doctor said my uterus is much better now. A lot stronger. The baby implanted well.” I looked up at him. His eyes were glistening. Was he happy or upset about this? “I wanted to tell you days ago, but I wanted to hear from the doctor first. The thing is…” I pulled out of his arms and stood, grabbing his hands. “There’s still a big chance that I could miscarry, Cane. Even though everything looks good for now, the doctor isn’t making any promises.”
“Bullshit. You have my baby inside you now, Kandy. We did that.” He studied my eyes, his still damp. “Before, he told you there was barely a chance. Now you are and…” He sucked in a breath and smiled. “It’s fucking incredible, baby. You’re strong and resilient. We’ll do whatever we need to do to make sure you and the baby are okay.”
I have to admit, I was shocked to hear him saying all of this. I thought surely he’d need time to process the fact that he would become a father soon, but his smile…it was real. His words were real.
“Are you really happy about this?” I asked softly.
“Fuck, Kandy.” He capped my shoulders and looked up at the ceiling briefly before leveling his eyes with mine again. “I’m starting a new life with you. Will a lot change for us with a baby? Yes, but this isn’t something we can’t handle. This is a chance, and we need to take it.”
“But what if I do end up losing it?” I looked down at my stomach. “I’m scared that I will, Cane.”
“No.” He reeled me closer, dropping a kiss on the middle of my forehead. “You can’t think like that.”
“Dr. Bhandari said by thirteen weeks he’ll have a much better idea of how my body is handling the pregnancy…if I make it that far.”
“How many weeks along are you now?”
“He said five.”
“Hmm. Not too long now. Two months.” He leaned back to look at me. “I don’t want you thinking negatively about this, all right? You’ve got me. I’m here, Kandy.”
“I know.” I tucked my hair behind my ears, walking around him to sit on the edge of his desk.
“Shit,” he hissed, turning to face me with his hands on his hips.
“What?”
“Have you told your dad?”
“That…is something I have to think about. I have to figure out how to tell him without him flipping tables and slamming doors. I haven’t even told him we’re engaged yet.”
“Fuck, he’s really gonna kill me now.” He huffed a laugh, stepping between my legs.
I grabbed his face, cupping it in my hands and leaning up just a bit to kiss him on the lips. When the kiss broke, I ran the tip of my nose over his and let our foreheads connect. “Are you sure you’re happy with this?” I whispered. “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
“I’m happy that it’s possible.” He lowered his hands to my waist. “Look, Kandy…the things I said to your dad years ago about having kids? That’s in the past. I don’t feel that way anymore. Being with you changed all of that. Having a kid gives me the chance to be a better man. Not only that, but imagine how cute the little thing would be.” He put on a full, boyish smile, and I giggled, pressing a hand to his chest.
“He or she would be cute.” I met his soft, gray-green eyes. “What do you want it to be? If we make it that far?”
He thought on it for a moment. “A boy, so he can look after you and protect you when I get too old to do so.”
I couldn’t fight my smile. All of this baby talk was making me emotional as hell, so instead of responding with words, I responded with action, and kissed my fiancé.
I was going to do everything in my power to carry this baby right and hope there wasn’t a tragedy at the end. Cane and I deserved this. After everything we’d been through, we deserved our own slice of happiness. We’d faced a lot of battles, been through a lot of wars, but going through a high-risk pregnancy was going to be our biggest fight of all.
Deep in my heart, I knew it could either make us or break us. I prayed it would be the former.
Chapter 11
CANE
A baby?
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it, yet the truth had been spilled, and I’d swallowed it all. She’d even shown me the ultrasound pictures. After so many years, I didn’t think it was possible for us, yet there it was. She’d run straight to me with the possibility that maybe we could have a good life after all, with a family we created. I knew she really wanted a kid one day—or to at least try for one when she was ready.