“Just…work stress. The usual.”
I pulled back, capping her shoulder once before heading for the desk. “What’d you decide to get?”
She turned and smiled, as if she’d just remembered the food. She picked the bag up from the desk and took it to the two-top table in the corner of the room.
Getting the table was her idea. She’d claimed that she didn’t get to see me enough, and since we only really met up for rare lunches and dinners outside of work, she got the table so I couldn’t make excuses about eating on my $5,000 desk. Since I couldn’t always come to her, she decided to come to me.
“I got the T-bone steak you love,” she announced, “along with the sweet potato casserole, steamed broccoli, and asparagus for sides.” She wasted no time taking the food out of the bags. Normally, seeing Kelly dressed like this—in short dresses and high heels that showed off her legs—made me want to stop her from doing whatever she was doing, bend her over the table, and fuck her.
But not tonight.
Tonight I wasn’t in my element. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought much about touching Kelly since the shit that happened with Kandy in the living room.
I couldn’t bear touching her because I knew as soon as I was inside her, I would imagine Kandy. I would probably say her name by accident. With that girl on my mind and around me, my self-control always seemed to vanish, and trust me, that was really fucking rare.
Kandy. Kandy. Kandy. Fucking Kandy.
She was driving me crazy and wasn’t even around me. I was always calm and collected—it was the reason I was in that expensive building I owned, with over five hundred employees. Being in control was what I knew best. Perhaps that was the reason Kandy intrigued me so much.
I’d been reckless before. I’d done a lot of crazy shit without thinking twice about it. I thought I had grown out of that habit, but apparently I still wanted a taste of the risk. Living on edge. Stepping out of line and breaking the rules had always given me an undeniable rush.
Kandy tested my control and broke the rules with me constantly. She knew how to push my buttons and get under my skin. She was probably the only person that could see right through my calm and collected bullshit and see me for who I really was.
“Quinton?” Kelly called. I looked up, and she was frowning. She walked my way. “What is going on inside that head of yours?” She tried to sound playful, sweet, but I could hear the concern deep in her voice.
I forced a smile and shook my head. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Even with Kelly, I pretended to be a good man. To everyone, I was a good man, but if they knew about the turmoil inside me—the chaos and darkness that was a constant threat—they would have thought otherwise.
“Come on,” Kelly said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the table. “You just need some good food and great wine to pull you out of that funk.” She pulled out a bottle of Tempt’s finest wine, and I smiled as she did.
Kelly was a good woman.
A great woman, actually.
She deserved better than me too. Truthfully, I had no idea how we were still seeing each other. I didn’t give her my all. There were days when I would get so caught up with work that I’d forget to text or call her, but she never complained.
Perhaps she understood. She grew up with wealthy parents. She never had to worry about a thing as a child, but she did tell me often how she wished her parents had spent more time with her.
Our childhoods were completely different. I didn’t talk about mine much with her, or anyone for that matter. The only person who knew much about my family was Derek, and that’s only because he was there the night he saved my mother and had caught a glimpse of the hell I’d been through. After seeing that, I really didn’t have much of a choice but to tell him a few things about myself.
I was too dark for a person like Kelly—a person who always seemed to exude a bright, warm aura. Kandy may have been right when she said Kelly and I didn’t make a good match, but Kelly was a ray of light in my darkness, and maybe it was that light that made me want to hold onto her.
Any light I could find, I held onto it. Derek and his family were a light. My sister was a light, but lately I hadn’t had much of her glow. I needed light so I wouldn’t lose my mind. I was trapped in darkness for a long time—surrounded by it. Suffocated by it.