He was at odds with it—had been for months. He was a stubborn man and I knew that. I don’t know why I was expecting him to be the bigger person.
“Look, maybe I should go. I don't want to cause too much trouble tonight,” Cane murmured, starting to push up from his chair.
“No.” I grabbed his wrist and he looked down at it before focusing on me. “Stay. Finish your cake.”
He looked from me to Mom, then back down at me again. He sat and dug into his cake again.
“Let me go talk to him,” Mom said, then left the table.
When she was out of earshot, Cane said, “Agreeing to this was stupid.”
“Its fine. Just…stay here. Let me talk to them.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up and walking around the table to get to the kitchen.
Mom was pouring another glass of wine, like she needed it before going out to face him. She guzzled most of it down, her eyes bouncing over to me as she finished it off.
“What is he doing?” I asked.
“Patio. Sulking.”
“I’m going to go talk to him.”
I grabbed the handle of the door, stepping out in the cold. It was chilly outside, but the sun was beaming, providing a comforting warmth.
Dad sat on the bench with a bottle of beer in hand, his elbows resting on top of his thighs. When he heard me come out, he looked sideways and sighed. I could still smell the meat from the grill, the asparagus too.
I took the spot beside my father, wrapping my fingers around the edge of the bench.
I waited for him to speak, but when two minutes passed and he didn’t utter a word, I knew he wasn't going to bother starting. He was never the one to start a conversation.
“Why can't you just accept what we have?” I finally asked.
“Why did you hide it from me? And did you ever stop talking to him like you said?” he demanded.
“We stopped talking for two months, right after I went to college, actually. We started talking again when he visited campus, and this time we promised not to let anything get in the way of it.”
He turned his head to stare at me. “So, you're telling me I'm in your way? In the way of you and a man who's almost twice your age? A man who can pretty much be your father?”
I dropped my gaze. “Is that how you see it?”
“How am I supposed see it? To me, you're just young and naïve and gullible and he knows that and is taking advantage of it.”
“If he is really taking advantage of me, do you think he would be here right now?” I looked up to meet his eyes to see his reaction. He didn't falter. He was still angry, probably livid.
He scoffed, dropping his head. “You know what? I always knew you were different. You weren’t like the other kids or like the girls your age. I used to worry because you were never good at making friends or staying at sleepovers, and you hated birthday parties.”
I looked away.
“Seeing you with him at that store shocked me, Kandy. All this time, I thought we were making progress, but it turned out that you had backtracked.”
“Dad, I never backtracked. Cane and I have moved forward. This is what we want—what I want. I don’t understand why you don’t get that?”
“Because it doesn’t make any goddamn sense!” he growled, slamming his bottle down on the bench beside him. “It doesn’t make sense that this almost forty-year-old man had his hands on my teenage daughter! It’s fucked up, and it makes me feel fucking stupid for not seeing it. All that time he was around when you were younger—was he looking at your butt? Your breasts? Your legs?”
I narrowed my eyes, sliding back from him. “That is a very dumb thing to say, Dad. When I was younger, I never saw Cane look at me that way until I came onto him. Before that, he was genuine and good friend. He never advanced, never touched me in the wrong way, never gave me signs of interest. Not until I told him that I wanted him. Like any man, I’m sure he noticed the differences and the changes in me, but that’s normal. You’ve noticed them too.”
Dad stood, pacing the deck. “You don’t know what the hell you want, Kandy. You’re nineteen. What could you possible know?”
“I know that I love him,” I declared, standing too. “I know that it’s not just in my head and that there is a reason I think about him so much. It’s because we are a good match, Dad. You don’t see it, but when we’re together, I feel unstoppable and like I can take on the world. I feel elated and exuberant and good about myself. But then there’s reality, and coming back home to this—to you being so damn hostile about the fact that I fell in love with someone like him!”