“Did my sister influence you?” he asked, stopping at the edge.
I smiled, probably a little too hard. “She may have.”
“She has that kind of power.” He looked around, like he hadn’t seen the inside of this little pool house in months. “She didn’t say anything crazy, did she?”
I shook my head and laughed. “No.”
“Hmm.” He took a step back. “It’s kind of chilly today. Listening to my sister will have you as sick as a dog.”
“Not at all! It feels good. You should get in with me, let go a little.”
His eyebrows shifted up. “Not gonna happen.”
“Come on. Please?” I begged, moving closer toward the side of the hot tub he was standing on. “Ten minutes with me in a hot tub. Think of how much fun we’d have.”
He chuckled. “Very tempting, but I have more work to do. Just came out to see if you were hungry.”
“Hungry for you? Yes.” I smiled harder. “Come on! I dare you to get in.”
His smile was coy as he looked away, like he couldn’t look at me for long or he’d break out in a laugh. “Your age is showing,” he said, dropping his head.
I brought a hand out of the water to flip him off.
“Fine.” He stepped back and started unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. “Ten minutes.”
“Really?” My heart pounded. He was going to get in. He was undressing too. Holy shit.
I watched carefully as he finished with the buttons of his shirt and pulled it off. During the whole process, his eyes were locked on mine. Tossing the shirt and tie aside, he kicked off his shoes and unfastened his pants, sliding out of them too. All that was left were his boxers. He came closer, bending down and sitting on the cement edge to snatch off his socks. He slinked into the hot water, eyes glued to mine.
“For the record, I’ve never lost a game of truth or dare,” he said.
“I see that.” I swam toward him, locking my arms around the back of his neck.
I studied his face, but mostly his eyes. When I looked at him, I couldn’t figure out how he had so much in the world against him. I mean, his eyes were sincere, but maybe that was only for me. Because he loved me. But for the world to be fighting him and backing him into a corner seemed wrong. He was a good man. I could feel it…or maybe I was only seeing what he wanted me to see.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, lips brushing across mine.
I chewed on my bottom lip before answering. “Because…we get to do stuff like this again.”
“Ah.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “And I get to hold you like this? And kiss you wherever I want without anyone stopping me?”
“Yes.”
“Still feels wrong to you?”
“Sometimes,” I admitted.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Me too.”
“Why for you?” My brows stitched together. Cane didn’t need to feel like this was wrong. He and my dad were no longer friends. Nothing was stopping him anymore, other than empty threats.
“Because when I see you, I think of D…and when I think of D, all I can remember is how much hurt was in his eyes that night he came here to confront me. I hated it—still hate it.” His throat bobbed. “The respectful thing would be to stay away, show him that I do care and respect him…but that shit is hard for me when it comes to you.”
I knew this topic pained him, but I couldn’t help feeling satisfaction when he spoke those words. How was this man so weak for me? How could I make him lose sight of right and wrong? Make him feel guilty and bad for wanting me?
“Perhaps I’ve broken you,” I answered.
“Broken me? How?” His brows dipped, curiosity burning deep in his eyes.
“Well, before we became a thing—before the lake house and the office—it was easier for you to stand by your morals. Easier for you to ignore me, keep a distance. But after becoming this,” I breathed, my lips hovering over his, “maybe having me broke most of your morals—your standards. Maybe being with me leaves you broken and complete at the same time…however that works. I know exactly how that feels because sometimes I feel broken too. Like we discussed at the lake house…when we’re together, it’s like nothing else matters. But when we’re apart, all of the demons start to pop up and reality is shoved into our faces and it’s harder to breathe—harder to think clearly.”
“But when we’re together,” he crooned, “thinking doesn’t exist. And that’s how it should be. When you’re with someone you love, they are your escape from the madness of the real world. With you, I have broken many rules and many morals and many standards and sometimes that wears me down…but I’ll be damned if it stops me from having you.”