His smooth, warm lips pressed to mine, and I wedged a hand between us, my palm flat on his chest, ready to shove him away, fight him off and pretend I didn’t care, but I was helpless. Stuck. Torn. Caving, slowly but surely.
This. This wasn’t a dream. It couldn’t be. I could feel him everywhere. This was what I’d missed—what I’d longed for, and it pissed me off knowing it.
My belly was slowly unknotting, the emotions running through me in a passionate frenzy. I ran my fingers through his hair and over his chest and everywhere else I could grasp. I’d hoped this was real, and not some dream. I’d hoped this was happening, and that he was here and he was mine and that this moment would never end.
I didn’t care if it was happening in a library full of old books and a silvery moon revealing us.
There was only us.
Us. Again.
I couldn’t believe I’d missed this so much.
He picked me up in his arms and carried me across the room to a desk. When my bottom landed on it, he shoved himself between my thighs, knocking some of the pens and supplies onto the floor as he placed his palm flat on the desk.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he rasped on the hollow of my neck. His breath was warm and tickled my skin. I wanted his mouth again, so I ducked my head, meshing our lips together and moaning when his tongue skimmed my upper lip and then his mouth claimed mine all over again. The kiss broke once more. We both gasped, in dire need of air.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he groaned.
“But you did hurt me,” I whispered back. “When I needed you most.”
“I know but…fuck. We aren’t good for each other, Kandy.”
“If you think that,” I breathed on his mouth, “then why come here? Why bother showing up and hoping to see me?”
He pulled his head back, and drew himself away just enough to look into my eyes. “I don’t know how to forget about you,” he confessed. “I don’t know how to make the memories stop. You were apart of my life for so long and then you just disappeared and I don’t know how to cope with that. I know it didn’t have to be that way but I thought it would be the best way for you too. For all of us. I’m fucking stupid, I know.” His forehead dropped on top of my shoulder and I let out a sigh. He was quiet a moment, a noise forming in his throat, as if hesitant to say what was next. “My sister is back in Atlanta. My mother is out of rehab and living with my sister in an apartment. And my father…he gets out of prison in a month or two.”
His last sentence caused me to frown. “What?” I gasped, forcing his head up to see his eyes.
“He sent my sister this fucked up letter,” he went on, jaw flexed. “Said he was coming for my company. I’ve been doing all I can to make sure that he doesn’t come anywhere near it. So much that it has left me with hardly any time to do anything. I’ve got my family back and only get to see them twice a week, if that.”
“Wow…I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know things had gotten this bad.”
His lips pressed. “On top of all that shit, there’s Kelly, who won’t back off…but I think I know a way to get her out of the picture.”
“Really?” I asked, and that made me hopeful. “How?”
“It will lead me back to my old roots, lots of blackmailing, but I’m willing to do it if it means I’ve gotten her out of my hair for good.”
“Your old roots?” My brows dipped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
His chin lifted, eyes cloudy as they bore into mine. “It means that I have a bad past, Kandy, and that I’ve done some fucked up things to get to where I am.”
I tried to swallow, but the lump was dry going down. “Things like what?”
“A lot of shit.” He pulled a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me for not being there for you enough. I’m here now. Let me make it up to you.”
“Make it up to me how?”
“I’ll be flying out tomorrow night. Let me take you to lunch or something before that—whatever fits your schedule.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, weighing my options. We had conditioning tomorrow, but it was only for two hours. After that, Morgan and Gina and I had planned to go to the mall. I could pass on it. Pretend I was sick or something.
“Okay. Fine. We can do lunch, but you can’t pick me up on campus. I don’t want anyone seeing us. I’ll meet you at the gas station that’s not too far away.”